Indian women are redefining success—and the plan doesn't include marriage

In a society where the idea of a happy, fulfilled existence is tied to the institution of marriage, more and more women are embracing the single life

In India, the single woman is no longer an anomaly. From the silver screen to census reports, the narrative around  single life in India is shifting, and urban Indian women are finally at the centre of their own stories. In Queen (2013), Rani (played by Kangana Ranaut) was celebrated for embracing singlehood after getting dumped by her fiancé—backed by the unwavering support of a girlfriend. By 2016, Pink brought a sharper lens to the reality of single women navigating societal pressures in India, portraying three women standing together against judgement in Delhi. 

Rom-coms have long peddled the idea that love—messy, inconvenient, yet inevitable—is the ultimate prize. But some films have dared to challenge that notion. “Even in Love Aaj Kal (2009), Deepika Padukone and Saif Ali Khan’s characters would have caught up, not ended up together after a gap of so many years,” says Tusharika Sharma, 31, a senior assistant manager in Delhi. For Asmi, 21, a Mumbai-based economics researcher, it took a rewatch to realise how sexist it was—Deepika had little to no agency in the relationship. 

These perceptions aren’t just about films—they mirror a significant cultural shift too. In a society where marriage has long been projected as a woman’s ultimate goal, more and more women are choosing to refrain from embracing it. 

According to a 2022 report by The Social Statistics Division of the National Statistical Office (NSO), Ministry of Statistics and Programme Implementation (MoSPI), Government of India, the proportion of unmarried women in the country has risen from 13.5 per cent in 2011 to 19.9 per cent in 2021. A study by Morgan Stanley predicts that by 2030, 45 per cent of women aged 25–44 years will be childless and single, out of choice. And it’s not just in India—women around the world are rejecting the idea of traditional domesticity. In the US, groups of women are moving in together; in China, seven women bought a mansion to grow old together.

“Human beings aren’t meant to be alone, so some sort of community based on common experiences is inevitable,” says Shambhobi Bagchi, a final year Masters student in Society and Culture, IIT Gandhinagar. “As society becomes more individualistic than family-oriented, women, who have always been communicative among themselves, are bound to come together. Back in the day, female friendships consisted of housewives washing or drying clothes on rooftops, exchanging thoughts about their own struggles, negatively labelled ‘gossip’.” 

Financial power shift: why it’s non-negotiable 

Education and careers are no longer just about ambition—they’re about survival. For women to have financial independence is the ultimate safeguard, a way to ensure autonomy in a society that still ties economic security to marriage. 

Anupama Kapoor, a Mumbai-based practitioner of Gender Equality and Social Inclusion, says, “Technology and social media have brought ideological changes with greater awareness about the economics of independence. Women are managing their finances, moving cities for higher education or work, and allocating budgets for different aspects of their life early on.”

For Sharma, financial literacy is non-negotiable. She is actively researching investment plans for single women and learning how to  invest in stocks. “I have aspirations and want my own money to fall back on. I’m not waiting for a guy to buy me a new car,” says Sharma. Similarly, Sara Doyle, 29, a Gurugram-based health and fitness coach, started investing in SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) at 25 and is now taking a course to understand investment. Her goal? To buy property, ideally where she can live with her girlfriends and three dogs. But financial freedom isn’t just a practical move; for  Doyle, it’s also personal. Raised by a single mother who was denied the right to work by her ex-husband, Doyle grew up with a clear rulebook:  to never put all your money in a joint account with your partner. 

“Education gives one an earning capacity, which brings in a negotiation power that allows people to speak up instead of conforming to conditioning,” says Bagchi. “For women, this negotiation is about choosing their career over getting married, thereby breaking away from the conditioning to maintain societal peace. Women with the same earning power as their male partner will not accept the compromises that come with India’s patriarchal construct of marriage.”

Why women are rejecting marriage and choosing independence

For a growing number of Indian women, marriage is no longer the end goal—it’s an outdated expectation they’re choosing to walk away from. Urvee Modwel, 35, a journalist in Delhi, got a divorce last year and is now focused on securing her single-income household retirement plan through mutual funds. But financial independence is just one part of the equation—she’s prioritising her health so that she doesn’t have to rely on anyone.

Growing up, Modwel was a complete romantic until she realised no prince was coming to save her. “I had a bad family situation I wanted to escape, so I was expecting too much from my partner. I realised I needed to be my own knight at 30, halfway through my marriage,” she says.

And it’s not just about avoiding getting into potentially bad marriages—it’s about rejecting the exhausting dating culture that often leaves most women frustrated. A 2024 Bumble prediction found that 64 per cent of women respondents are becoming more certain about what they want and need from a partner, refusing to settle for less. The reality? It’s slim pickings. 

But even outside dating, relationships in India still come with a deeply ingrained idea of what gender roles are meant to be. Even in some supposedly progressive households, women remain responsible for domestic labour. “There’s still the notion that as women are being ‘allowed’ to work, the daughter-in-law must cook after coming back home,” says Sharma, who watched an aunt give up a teaching career to manage her  household. Sharma herself once had a prospective l arranged match tell her he expected a home-cooked meal every day.

Parental expectations remain yet another pressure point. When Asmi’s long-term-now-former partner moved abroad, her parents’ first reaction was to ask if she would quit  her job and follow him. “This—coming from parents who don’t really believe in marriage—just shows how societal norms get internalised, ensuring there is pressure even in progressive families,” says Asmi. 

Emotional labour, however, remains one aspect of the issue; single women are up against systemic barriers too. “Society continues to see women as vehicles of procreation, wanting to control what women do with their bodies. The expectation around women’s social decorum in public and private, what she wears, how she sits and eats, what time she comes back home, and who she’s entertaining at her home, still persists,” says Kapoor. 

With it, the single status is further weighed down by societal judgement. “The belief that having any partner is better than not having one reflects internalised social conditioning rather than emotional reality,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M) psychotherapist and founder-director, Gateway of Healing. For Gen Z, the pressure is amplified by Instagram’s wedding-industrial complex—a constant bombardment of reels involving pre-wedding shoots and extravagant celebrations. “Patriarchy perpetuates regressiveness in small ways,” says Doyle. Sharma, meanwhile, has perfected her clapback to the question:  ‘what if your father passes away before seeing you married off? ’She replies, “So, you have a death wish for him?” 

For many women, the institution of marriage feels outdated—having grown up watching women around them being stuck in unhappy marriages. The priority here is to reclaim their own well-being and autonomy. A 2024 study titled Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves: Gender Differences in Singles’ Well-Being by Elaine Hoan found that single women reported leading better lives and a higher level of sexual satisfaction, stronger social networks, and greater overall well-being than their married counterparts. The study also revealed  that single men, on the other hand, are unhappier. 

The single women versus the system: The challenges rooted in rooted in patriarchy

Being single in India isn’t always just a personal choice. Oftentimes, it can grow into a logistical challenge. For many women, the journey is not just about breaking free from social expectations but also about navigating the complex web of emotional and systemic pressures that come with living life on their own terms.

Doyle, who watched people rush into relationships out of a fear of loneliness, has spent the last few years redefining solitude as a means of empowerment rather than pity, learning to enjoy her own company. “I need to spend my energy on my career instead of dealing with emotionally immature avoidant men,” says Doyle. 

While gender pay parity still remains a pressing concern, single women face practical hurdles such as having to deal with landlords who still insist on ‘family-only’ tenants, forcing women like Doyle to invent imaginary fiancés just to secure a rented house.

Moreover, familial challenges rooted in patriarchal structures, particularly when it comes to property inheritance, don’t favour single women either. Bharat Bhat, a Mumbai-based lawyer says, “The Hindu and Muslim succession acts make it harder for women, in general, to own property in India.” Despite a Supreme Court ruling in 2020 granting daughters equal rights to Hindu Undivided Family (HUF) property, patriarchal resistance makes it difficult for women to claim ownership.“It’s harder to enforce these as societal norms have been in place for far longer,” he adds. 

Without a spouse or an immediate family, arranging for care or making critical decisions can be incredibly challenging as well.  “There are societal biases when it comes to fertility treatments. For single women wanting to adopt a child, navigating bureaucratic delays and proving ‘stability’ to authorities, despite legal rights, is difficult too. Single women may struggle to secure loans without a co-applicant. Proactive measures—wills, medical proxies, or nominating trusted contacts—are essential but time-consuming, highlighting systemic gaps in accommodating diverse lifestyles,” says Tugnait. 

The rise of chosen families: how single women are redefining support systems

Despite the hiccups, for many single women, a chosen family can offer a deeper sense of security and belonging than traditional partnerships could. “If the ideology is not community-driven and sharing-based, it won’t work,” says Srishti about co-habiting with friends, who she finds easier to rely on versus a partner she’s married to. 

According to Kapoor, “Women tend to form bonds with other women organically over shared lived experiences—whether it’s about being mothers or divorced or living with husbands leading busy lives. Such dependency is healthier than in a relationship. Also, women living together ensures a safer space.” 

Tugnait notes a radical cultural shift: “The most significant change has been the emergence of strong support systems among single women themselves, creating spaces where their choices are celebrated, not tolerated. The concept of ‘chosen family’ has gained more meaning, where friends step in for traditionally partner-assigned roles, so that one doesn’t feel the void of a partner.” 

Modwel, who enjoys the freedom that comes with being alone—something she never experienced before—dreams of retiring in a neighbourhood full of women. “Living together in a community is a better support system than staying with a partner,” she says. For instance, you don’t need a 'man' today to take you to the hospital, because you'll have multiple women who would volunteer.

As more and more women choose to retire together, it’s only a matter of time before capitalism catches up, creating institutions designed to support these evolving lifestyles. “We already have temporary homes for first-time mothers going through postpartum depression. For instance, Mother’s Cafe in Kolkata is run by single moms. Smaller, close-knit societies and communities are coming up as people are realising that it’s not just familial bonds that are strong,” says Bagchi. 

For many women, fulfillment isn’t found in traditional milestones, but in the everyday emotional intelligence of a chosen community. “A community of women who are honest about their emotions is freeing and peaceful,” admits Asmi, envisioning a future where support systems are built on shared experiences, not societal acceptance. “Besides, cooking with my girlfriends on date night beats any typical romantic dinner,” she adds. 

In a world that rigidly defines the roles women play—mother, daughter, wife—choosing yourself, and those who choose you back, might just be the ultimate happily ever after.

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