In a world obsessed with youth, women are embracing grey hair

Your hair is a medium of self-expression, and treating it the way you desire instead of falling for what society dictates can be incredibly liberating

Old and bleak, with wrinkles, sagging skin, marionette lines, and white or grey hair—isn’t this how ageing women have been typically depicted in films and advertisements? No wonder seven out of ten women believe they become “invisible” as they get old, according to a survey by Gransnet. Over the years, the beauty industry has devised endless solutions to gloss over ageing skin—think Botox, fillers, and facelifts. Hair dyes, meanwhile, have been a constant in the beauty market; we’ve simply evolved from henna to balayage. 

Today, the hair colour market in India, valued at US$477 million in 2020 is projected to grow at a compound annual growth rate of over 17 per cent until 2026. But, when did women start feeling imperative to hide their greys? In her book The Cancer Journals (1980), Audre Lorde wrote, “Take your vitamins every day and he might keep you, colour your grey hair and iron out your wrinkles...Women have been programmed to view their bodies only in terms of how they look and feel to others, rather than how they feel to ourselves.” It is because of this very male gaze’s social influence that depersonalisation is so common among women, making the business of anti-ageing beauty a US$100 billion-plus industry.

However, 2024 brought about the “pro-ageing” movement; from dumping anti-ageing creams and procedures to breaking up with the notion of sporting jet-black hair, women are slowly yet steadily redefining beauty standards and the dominant narrative by embracing grey hair. 

The stigma attached to grey hair is problematic

Go to a salon, and a stylist is likely to recommend refreshing your hair with the newest colour trend. Forty-five per cent of Indians believe that black is the most ideal hair colour for women, followed by brown. These yardsticks originated from the same place as most other age-related and beauty standards did. 

For instance, Vasmol, an Indian Ayurvedic hair dye brand launched in 1957, has been propagating a direct connection between luscious, black hair confidence in their television commercials. Add to it the notion of sporting a perfect mane that celebrities endorse, and you have a blueprint to make Indian women feel diffident about their greying hair. “I am ashamed of my ageing body and ashamed that I am ashamed. I believe women pay an enormous price for cultural biases related to gender and age,” a 58-year-old female subject had revealed in a study.

Considering the prevalence of premature greying in India, swaying away from the notion that grey hair is a marker of old age is essential. “Before I ditched the dye in 2018, I coloured my hair for about 14 years because I wanted to look ‘normal’ as our society counts anyone with [premature] greying as an odd one out,” shares Anjana Dubey, founder of SparklingSilvers.com. Along the same lines, beauty editor Tatiana Dias says, “I think my first grey hair hit me when I was 21 or 22; I panicked as I felt I was turning ‘old.’” .”

Ditching the dye to embrace grey hair

For many women, concealing grey hair by colouring it is simply cumbersome. “I don’t have the desire to sit in a parlour chair for hours and get things done to my hair. Honestly, I did colour my hair twice in the past, but it eventually fades away, demanding frequent and time-consuming visits to the salon,” shares model and content creator Reshma Bombaywala. Even Dubey was flustered after dyeing her hair for several years, with henna first and then hair colour. “At the age of 32, after my daughter was born, I contemplated giving up on hair dye. I was tired of weekly root touch-ups, itchy scalp, and hair loss because of the chemicals in the hair dye,” shares Dubey. “When I turned 36, I was ready.” 

Similarly, model and artist Mukta Singh, coloured her hair for almost two decades, only to feel too jaded to continue doing so in her mid-50s. “I enjoyed the process of colouring my hair, but it was just much more tiring than I would have liked it to be.” However, making this decision was anything but easy for her. “Considering long, black hair is a sign of youthfulness and beauty in India, it took me a lot of emotional and psychological struggle to quit colouring my hair. But eventually, I realised that my grey hair suited me so much more.”

Yoga instructor Mini Shastri recollects having a natural streak of white from her mid-40s that transitioned into random greys later. “I’ve flaunted my greys almost in defiance, that greys can look beautiful…I didn’t feel the need to colour them as I knew that there would be added chemicals as well as time in tending to touch-ups.” While Shastri’s indifference to hair colour came from her definition of youthfulness, which is more inward than outward, Ruchi Nayak, partner at a PR agency, wondered why men get away with flaunting their salt-and-pepper look. “We have always glorified male models and celebrities with silver-grey hair, be it in movies, commercial ads or campaigns, albeit, seldom in the case of women. When I turned 35, I was finally mature enough to accept my greys as a part of my personal growth. All I cared about—and still do—was to ensure I don’t lose all my hair, and keep it healthy.”

Learning from embracing your greys

While fatigue or fear of hair damage often prompts women to eschew hair colouring initially, it translates into a sense of liberation over time. “From feeling mortified when I saw my first silver strand at the age of 13 to no longer seeing greys as a sign of ageing, I’ve realised that grey hair does not mean the end of life,” shares Dubey. 

By refraining from associating her hair colour to her sense of self, Shastri experienced freedom. “I realise that it’s a privilege to enjoy this stage of my life with all the wisdom I’ve earned, and retaining my greys allows me to wear all of that with pride.” Adhering to societal standards, meant specifically for women, never came naturally to Bombaywala, so parading her greys was an obvious choice. “Colouring your hair to stick to certain shades of the deeper spectrum is a pressure cultivated by society; my mom, who is well into her 60s, still dyes her hair. To go grey, even though I am fairly young to embrace them according to society, was a conscious decision.”

Dias believes that women aren’t shamed for greys as much as they are for other signs of ageing, say wrinkles or wobbly skin. However, any kind of criticism can be demoralising. “There have been so many times when I have been conscious about my skin or hair, and have projected that feeling onto people around me, making me even more conscious. But once I started owning up to it, people’s opinions became white noise.” In concurrence, Singh adds, “Society is becoming more open. I learned that only if I (re)define the rules of glamour for myself, will others follow suit.”

While it’s easy to be smitten by the idea of self-empowerment, developing the confidence to accept grey hair may not come easily to everyone. Perilous reactions and allergies to chemical-laden hair colours are common; however, many women endure the adversities to preserve a superficial mirage of youth. “I have days when I feel like my hair is boring; I look up hair colour references and think I should perhaps hide my greys. But, I wouldn’t want to do it at the cost of my hair’s health,” shares Dias. 

Ultimately, for a woman, the wrangle isn’t about colouring your hair or not—it’s about looking at your hair as a medium of self-expression and giving it the treatment that you choose, versus what is expected of you.

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