Indian brides won't put up with being body-shamed over their wedding outfit

What is considered as the happiest day of a bride’s life is also the one she is scrutinised the most on. Here’s how industry experts believe the cycle can be broken

“Aap khana nahi khate kya?” (Don’t you eat food?) I am standing in a cramped trial room, industriously working my way out of a voluminous lehenga when a supercilious store assistant’s comment slices through my elation at having solved a last-minute fitting crisis. In hindsight, I find it surprising that her comment would catch me unaware—having inherited skinny genes from both my mother and father, I have spent a lifetime of unsolicited commentary over my XXS frame. 

As my eyes sweep around the fitting room, it would appear that I am not alone: one bride is scrupulously sucking her breath in when the store assistants aren’t looking, while another is being helpfully informed of which dupatta style will cover up her curves. In that moment, we are all united—doomed by a society that wants us to be thin but not too thin; to have curves but not to the extent that they would ping the radar of an unrelenting fat tax. 

Breaking the cycle

In the months since my wedding, I have often been puzzled by  how this destructive pattern can end. In my quest for answers, I looked to designers Neeta Lulla and Arpita Mehta. The former believes that the first order of business is to gain a bride’s trust by comprehending her requirements and showcasing a style that resonates with her preferences. “When it comes to creating for full-figured individuals, this process becomes an intimate journey, requiring a compassionate and guiding hand. The mental barriers that may arise from self-doubt due to one’s curves must be delicately addressed. It is within this role that I find it essential to not only select the right hues and proportions, but also to intimately grasp the unique contours of each individual’s form,” she shares. 

Mehta seconds the sentiment, adding, “A bride is a bride. Whether she is XS or plus-sized, every bride wants something that makes her feel glamorous and beautiful in her own skin on her big day. As a designer,  I have always believed that dealing with a bride is an emotional conversation, rather than a generic design process. This journey to find the dress of her dreams then becomes about mental prep over physical prep; it is important to have that initial detailed conversation and understand the bride’s headspace rather than blindly suggesting styles for her to try on.”

Comfort-first couture

For a new crop of bridal stylists, the process means ensuring that the bride’s comfort assumes top priority through the trial process. For Disha Shah and Kreenal Gala, co-founders of bridal styling consultancy Studio B, the work starts from the prep stage. “We take the bride through a series of looks and styles to identify the silhouettes and colours she wants. Through our communication, we reinforce the notion that they are beautiful in their own body,” says Shah. For the latter, she has found that representation helps, with a diverse range of body types being featured in campaigns by designers like Sabyasachi, thereby helping a bride envision what a specific style would look like on her.

For plus-sized brides looking to find the wedding outfit of their dreams, Lulla has some handy advice as well. “Opt for cuts and styles that resonate with your personal preferences and have proven to be comfortable choices from your previous experiences. Prioritise the comfort of your appearance, leaning towards tailoring your outfit to your specifications rather than opting for ready-to-wear selections that may not align perfectly. Always remember that your beauty shines through, and the outfit should evoke precisely that sentiment within you,” she says. 

For those brides hoping to make the trial process a kind and safe space free from judgment, the following measures can help:

● It might seem like a reflex action, but avoid comparing yourself to other brides as each body is different and deserves to be valued.

● While going through the trial process, it helps to be surrounded by positive voices of support with friends and family who can reinforce your sense of self-worth.

● Refrain from using words with negative connotations, such as ‘big,’ ‘fat’ or ‘bulky,’ as these can influence your choices and keep you from trying something that you truly want. 

● It helps to have an open mind and to avoid being shut off to different silhouettes in the belief that they may not suit you—you’ll never know until you try. 

● The days of “you don’t alter Vera Wang, you alter yourself to fit into Vera Wang” are over. Going on fad diets simply to fit into a dress is never worth it.

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