Why do we adhere to beauty standards that persuade us to mourn the loss of something we never owned in the first place?
Women never choose to be at the receiving end of unwarranted comments, but it unabashedly chooses women, from the very moment they are old enough to understand. “You’re so fat, get on a diet ASAP”, “Stop playing in the sun, you’ll become darker” or “Why are you so hairy [like men]?”… most girls are not considered good enough to meet the societal expectations of ideal beauty. The battle doesn’t end even when we’re old enough for society to finally find us “beautiful” —for instance, if someone opts for a bob or red lip in their 60s or beyond, ageist remarks are a given.
Beauty standards were much more brutal a decade or two ago—no inclusivity, no representation, no diversity. You were either fat or thin, dark or fair, tall or short, good-looking or plain-looking.
Today, beauty standards have spiralled into a vicious quicksand-like trap. Beauty standards 2.0, in the face of refinement, harp on the finer details. Cortisol face, ageing hands and neck, sunken eye sockets, droopy eyebrows, not-so-chiselled cheeks, “pilates arms” and “legging legs”, a flat or fat nose … the list is endless. It doesn’t come as a surprise, therefore, that the stark lines between selfies, self-assessment, and self-obsession are blurring by the day. Trends like “Sephora Kids” and “Baby Botox” have lured impressionable minds into this never-ending misery. Is it fair to, then, assume that the coming generations have it worse when it comes to so-called beauty standards?
How beauty standards became a woman’s biggest foe
Model and creator Tanya Gupta recalls being harrowed by insecurities in her pre-teens. “In the fifth grade, I developed an insecurity about being relatively darker than other girls in my class. Upon hitting puberty, I gained weight. By definition, I was never a beautiful girl. Being actively into sports contributed to an even darker complexion,” begins Gupta. “From teachers prohibiting me from playing outside to relatives asking my mother to fix my complexion, I began to feel inferior to others.”
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From teachers prohibiting me from playing outside to relatives asking my mother to fix my complexion, I began to feel inferior to others, says Tanya Gupta. Image: Instagram.com/tanyaguptaofficial
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While Prarthana Jagan successfully became an advocate of vitiligo-positive skin, she now feels insecure towards her body. Image: Instagram.com/prarthanajagan
Model and beauty creator Prarthana Jagan was made to feel insecure owing to her vitiligo. “[The way I felt was] mostly because of how it was deemed as a transmittable disease in society. I used to wear a ton of make-up to conceal and fit in.” While Jagan successfully overcame that, and became an advocate of vitiligo-positive skin, she now feels insecure towards her body. “Perhaps, because filtered bodies appear everywhere on social media.” You see, it never really ends.
Soft rosebud lips, skinny brows, a white and flawless complexion, and a voluptuous hourglass body—our perception of beauty (standards) has always been highly influenced by the Western yardsticks. Clearly, such male gaze-governed standards didn’t account for the various skin tones, hair types, body sizes and features, native to Eastern culture. Our social conditioning, however, has been persuading us to mourn the loss of something we never owned in the first place.
“WHAT PEOPLE USUALLY DON’T REALISE IS THAT THE SAME PEOPLE WON’T LOOK AS PERFECT IN REAL LIFE [AS ON SOCIAL MEDIA]”
Pernia Quereshi
“Growing up, I’ve almost always never felt content with how I looked. And, it has a lot to do with what society thinks is the ‘right way’ to be, as I was told,” begins Gen Z content creator and model Anmol Dua. “Movies portrayed the perfect skin and bodies, told us how we should sound and behave—I constantly felt I was not how I should ideally be. Aunties wouldn’t twitch before calling out someone if their body flab showed, and told us to become skinnier or plumper to be marriage-worthy. In the end, I was left feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and body.”
Impact of social media on beauty standards
Realising the close link between beauty standards and Instagram can be quite toxic for users of the app. Stylist and entrepreneur Pernia Quereshi highlights the pivotal role of social media in the deterioration of beauty standards. “I didn’t have any major insecurities growing up; however, by the time I was in college, filters had become a mainstay on social media. Plastic surgery became super rampant too. That’s when I developed some insecurities, after observing picture-perfect portrayals on social media. What people usually don’t realise is that the same people won’t look as perfect in real life.”
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“Beauty standards can’t be generic because we’re all so different; our genetic make-up, race, climate, and everyday routine determine the core of how we look,” says Pernia Quereshi. Image: Instagram.com/perniaq
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People are willing to go to any extent—and take all kinds of risks—to achieve what’s popularly called the “Instagram face”. Image: Instagram.com/anmoldua
According to celebrity dermatologist Dr Jaishree Sharad, the body positivity movement has led to more inclusivity in the realm of what is considered “beautiful” but there are beauty standards that are still way too unrealistic to achieve. “This is true, especially among younger people who are more avid consumers of social media content put forth by beauty influencers and celebrities. There are plenty of edited and airbrushed images out there that are perceived to be real. But poreless, textureless, glass skin [that is] free of any wrinkles is not a real thing.” Gupta furthers, “The possibility of people even thinking of ‘cortisol face’ as a problem. Or Botox as a solution [to achieve youthful skin] has increased multifold because of beauty influencers and social media content. By framing these details as important, marketeers in the beauty industry encourage consumers to seek new products and treatments.” In concurrence, Jagan says, “A lot of times people want to make engaging content and rage bait almost; they create problems and share solutions in the same video.”
The downsides of setting beauty standards
Vasudha Rai, beauty editor, author and content creator, reminisces about the unforgiving facet of beauty standards till a few years back. “People would feel free to comment on someone’s weight or skin with no filters whatsoever.” While she observes some cognisance of right and wrong in the current times, Reshma Bombaywala, a model and content creator, believes that a broader inclusivity has been accompanied by new pressures. “Achieving the ‘perfect’ skin, a particular trendy aesthetic, or improving minor features like the shape of one’s lips or eyebrows is now a thing.” According to Rai, that’s perhaps because we now see ourselves through the lens of cameras that magnify so-called imperfections, and coax you into feeling inadequate. The result? People are willing to go to any extent—and take all kinds of risks—to achieve what’s popularly called the “Instagram face”.
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Younger people who are more avid consumers of social media content put forth by beauty influencers and celebrities, are chasing unrealistic standards. Image: Instagram.com/janhavikapoor
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Soft rosebud lips, skinny brows, a white and flawless complexion, and a voluptuous hourglass body—our perception of beauty has always been highly influenced by the Western yardsticks. Image: Instagram.com/kyliejenner
“Chasing every beauty trend not only leads to overconsumption but also has permanent side-effects. Beauty standards like button nose, hollowed cheeks, or fuller lips need a permanent/semi-permanent alteration of facial features. This could take away a lot of individuality from your face, and may also cause serious issues like body dysmorphia,” says Sharad. Enumerating the damaging options she’s seen people go for, she says, “Buccal fat removal, dimpleplasty, mini-facelifts are all irreversible procedures and one must be very sure about them. Overdone faces with too many syringes of fillers at a time (think 10-12 syringes over 1-2 months) can also cause pillow faces. In fact, in a recent podcast, she spoke about how excessive fillers spawned blindness in 90-plus persons abroad.”
According to celebrity dermatologist Dr Madhuri Agarwal, trying in-office procedures like peels and microneedling treatments at home can lead to scarring and skin damage. “Unfortunately, people are still applying fairness creams in India, which can contain mercury and steroids. Blindly pursuing beauty standards can have harmful effects on both physical and mental health.” A piece by Medical News Today corroborates that “societal beauty standards can put a lot of pressure on individuals and increase the risk of eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and social isolation, especially among young females.”
“THERE ARE PRODUCTS AND TREATMENTS THAT WE DIDN’T KNOW EXISTED, TO FIX THINGS WE DIDN’T KNOW WERE PROBLEMS TO BEGIN WITH”
Anmol Dua
Divyanka Bedi established her fitness studio, The Space, to promote strength and well-being instead of attaining a specific body size. “While I have seen a shift in people wanting to look strong rather than thin, the complexes about belly fat, love handles, thick arms and no butt, all still very much exist. In fact, we have lost a few clients over the years because we have refused to support them in their pursuit for unrealistic, dangerous body standards,” shares the trainer, indicating the prevalence of the heroin-chic era fad even today.
The need to look beyond magazines and billboards for ideals
From Britney Spears’ Rolling Stone cover from 1999 to Kim Kardiashian’s Paper Magazine cover from 2014 that broke the internet, quite literally, from actress Manadakini’s Ram Teri Ganga Maili-inspired cover for Filmfare in 1985 to Rekha on several magazine covers through the 1980s and ’90s, a common thread binds them all—that of sensuousness. Considering magazines were a huge part of popular culture, they instantly made a reader feel substandard. “As someone who has been a beauty editor in the business of magazines for years, I can tell that before social media existed, magazines would talk about early signs of ageing and under eye creams. They would make people think about things that they may not have essentially begun experiencing.”
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Rekha on the cover of Stardust magazine in June 1979
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Britney Spears’ Rolling Stone cover from 1999
“As a model with a unibrow, I’ve faced constant pressure to conform to narrow beauty standards. For six years, I would get rid of my unibrow to meet industry expectations and avoid judgements from stylists and designers,” shares Hussna Ahmed, a fashion and beauty content creator. “Eventually, I changed my career path from being a model to a content creator. I’ve realised that insecurities often stem from external pressures.” Ahmed’s story is proof that we need to look beyond cookie-cutter norms and advertisements that thrive on capitalism to really decipher beauty standards.
If truth be told, the concept of beauty standards is quite preposterous. “Beauty standards can’t be generic because we’re all so different; our genetic make-up, race, climate, and everyday routine determine the core of how we look,” says Quereshi. “It’s fine to follow beauty standards—those that you have set for yourself.”
“THERE ARE PLENTY OF EDITED AND AIRBRUSHED IMAGES OUT THERE THAT ARE PERCEIVED TO BE REAL. BUT PORELESS, TEXTURELESS, GLASS SKIN [THAT IS] FREE OF ANY WRINKLES IS NOT A REAL THING”
Dr Jaishree Sharad
“I wouldn’t say that there should be any ‘one’ ideal of beauty. It is subjective, and many features harmonise themselves to create a portrait of a beautiful face. To pinpoint one idol of beauty would mean me contributing to setting a beauty standard, which is counterproductive,” says Sharad. “Imagine how nice it would be to see all kinds of people being themselves without being looked down upon. Then, everyone is an idol,” adds Gupta.
Is there a way to snap out of the micro-insecurity obsession?
“I have patients in their mid- to late-twenties come in for preventative anti-ageing, face, jawline or lip sculpting, and other cosmetic enhancements. Some even in their late teens and early twenties want to opt for trending procedures like lip enhancement,” reveals Sharad. “While it’s true that, more often than not, we only feel beautiful when someone compliments us, why should we define beauty? It’s either in the eye of the beholder or the person itself, but that’s just a utopian fantasy,” says Rai, underlining a need for young girls to stop analysing their faces all the time.
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I have patients in their mid- to late-twenties come in for preventative anti-ageing, face, jawline or lip sculpting, and other cosmetic enhancements, shares Dr Jaishree Sharad. Image: Pexels
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Unfortunately, people are still applying fairness creams in India, which can contain mercury and steroids, which can be very damaging, informs Dr Madhuri Agarwal. Image: Pexels
According to Dua, capitalism and the way we’re fed information in an extremely digitally simulated world are among the culprits. “There are products and treatments that we didn’t know existed, to fix things we didn’t know were problems to begin with.” Recollecting the existence of Botox for the past few generations, Quereshi recollects, “It has democratised now, due to more awareness and accessibility. There are doctors rampantly available who’d provide the treatment at cheaper costs than a decade ago.” Today, women are fixated on “correcting” insecurities, but snapping out of this web is more crucial than ever.
“Please ask yourself before making any change: Will this change improve my health? Can I realistically change it? Will it affect my mental health? Is this a lasting concern? These questions help me prioritise genuine well-being and self-image over fleeting trends,” shares Ahmed. “Remember, if you wouldn’t want a loved one to feel insecure about something, you shouldn’t either.”
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The beauty of grey hair, wrinkles, and other signs of ageing should be normalised and revered,” says Reshma Bombaywala. Image: Instagram.com/reshmabl
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'Why should we define beauty? It’s either in the eye of the beholder or the person itself, but that’s just a utopian fantasy," says Vasudha Rai. Image: Instagram.com/vasudharai
“Consciously take time out from social media or choose your social media content perusal carefully,” advises Agarwal, as it can be a glossy, breeding ground for insecurities. In concurrence, Rai shares, “I see a lot of dermatologists using certain filters/visuals while talking about ageing. My mother is 70 and she looks nothing like what they show. I think that’s very ageist, which is why I’ve unfollowed such people.” She also recommends capping the amount of time you spend on clicking photos and videos of yourself because you’re signing up for a dangerous self-assessment. “Limit exposure to content and people that put you in a box or encourage you to over-consume. Pursue a physical activity which is progressive—something that makes you feel accomplished after each session, something that reminds you of what your body is capable of,” suggests Bedi.
Lastly, one should celebrate ageing, and not fear it. “Beauty ideals should include people of all age groups, with a focus on the wisdom and experience that come with time. The beauty of grey hair, wrinkles, and other signs of ageing should be normalised and revered,” says Bombaywala.
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