Is the sex-toy industry in India sneakily ageist? We think so

While sex toys are empowering, it seems like the industry is giving Gen X and boomers a cold shoulder  

Sex is synonymous with pleasure, and pleasure is a human need — it’s that simple. And yet, sex is one of the biggest subjects of taboo in India, the provenance of Kama Sutra. According to a 2020 survey on sex in India, 95 per cent of the respondents reported that they think of sex at least once daily, while 65 per cent of the respondents indulge in sex at least thrice a month. In fact, a survey by the National Family Health Survey (NFHS) from 2016 revealed that over 90 per cent of Indians have their first sexual intercourse before turning 30. Clearly, Indians share an inquisitive and invested relationship with sex, or at least that’s what the numbers reveal. 

However, given how the topic is brushed under the carpet, the  pleasure factor from sex has been largely missing. A study conducted by the Women’s Health Research Program at Pune University, that presented an overall picture of the sexual wellbeing of Indian women between the ages of 18 and 39, revealed that 50.2 per cent of young Indian women experienced some form of sexually-related personal distress. This includes feeling guilty, embarrassed, stressed or unhappy about their sex lives. Therefore, the pleasure gap is only expanding in India by the day. Enter: sex toys—a boon for most individuals, regardless of whether you have a partner or not. 

Sex toys are liberating and empowering, primarily for  providing yourself with pleasure. Owing to the Coronavirus pandemic, and being indoors for two years straight, self-pleasure surfaced as the only resort for many. So much so that the sales of sex toys in India jumped by a whopping 65 per cent in 2020. Today, in India, sex toy brands have burgeoned, and are, perhaps, thriving too. But, it seems like the industry is giving a huge potential market a miss—Gen-X and boomers. We speak to opinion leaders in the space to understand the perils of such a one-dimensional approach. 

ICYMI, India has always loved sex

While we may think that younger millennials and Gen-Z are more sex-positive than other generations, India hasn’t been entirely oblivious to the ideas of pleasure and sex previously either. “When we came up with the brand’s vision, there existed no data or statistics as a precedent for us to follow, nor were there any surveys or studies that researched on the demand, gap or lag of sex toys in India. The business of ‘sex toys’ flourished underground and was operated by shady vendors who mostly pedalled in subpar and inferior products that were procured from cheap manufacturers in China and imported through underground methods,” shares Raj Armani, founder and COO of ImBesharam, India’s first sexual wellness brand, launched in 2013. “Back then, the category of sexual wellness did not exist and the trade did not warrant any legitimacy due to the preceding reputation it had. However, we realised that Indians were yearning for better things in life—better experiences and better lifestyles. It was a no-brainer that when they have access to sex toys they will buy because everyone wants to try. It was just a matter of time.” A survey from 2010 also concluded that women in India want more when it comes to sex. Yet another survey from sexual wellness brand ThatsPersonal revealed that 16 per cent of its consumers are women aged above 45.

Why are sex toys only marketed to the youth?

Leeza Managaldas, a sexual wellness content creator, educator, author, and founder of Leezu’s, conjectures that the perception that sex toys are marketed largely to millennials and Gen Z audiences has more to do with the fact that sex toys are largely sold online and the Internet, particularly social media, is typically seen as a predominantly millennial- and Gen Z-driven space—Instagram in particular. “Also, relatively speaking, the largest chunk of models and influencers tend to belong to the age group of 20 to 35, so when brands are shooting campaigns, the easiest candidates to showcase, or the largest model/influencer pool that they have easiest access to, is this age group.” Dr Tanaya Narendra agrees that while the marketing of sex toys is gender-inclusive, it is not age-inclusive at all. “Usually, terms like ‘spice up your new relationship’ accompany the marketing efforts of sex toys, featuring  young and attractive people,” highlights the doctor, indicating how older audiences are completely eliminated from verbal and visual communication. 

Dr Varuna Srinivasan, a US-based sexologist, writer, and sex-positive activist, thinks marketing, in general, seems to be taking a Gen-Z focus since the generation is incredibly vocal and clear about what they like or dislike. “I am not sure if they exclusively speak to younger generations; they are speaking to people who are curious, interested in exploring their bodies, and learning more about what gets them going, regardless of age. Several brands use memes and pop culture references—these aren’t entirely limited to Gen Z. I am a millennial and I think marketing speaks to me as well. But, would the same marketing speak to my mother? I am unsure about that,” she affirms. 

Sex positivity is a normalised conversation today, courtesy of the younger audience that seeks sex education. However, it was a different story about around three decades ago. “In our parents’ generation—and even in mine—we were under the impression that vibrators were the only type of toy and that they were used by cishet women who were single.” Perhaps, that’s also a driving factor that influences the marketing and communication associated with sex toys. 

The intent of the brand’s positioning is also pivotal in determining how a brand speaks to its audience. “Our content is a healthy mix of education and engagement. We’re an Internet-first brand that needs to speak the language the Internet is speaking,” begins Anushka Gupta, co-founder,  MyMuse India. “At the same time, the posts might showcase young people, as we’re mainly shooting with people in the office. Our content is relevant across age groups and genders. I wouldn’t go as far as to say all of it, but most of it is Gen Z-first. That is also because most of our customers are in the age bracket of 21-35 years. They’re the ones who need education and awareness and can pave the way for normalising the conversation around self-pleasure and intimacy for their parent’s generation and the next generation too,” furthers Gupta, reiterating how Gen Z consciously takes the taboo away from sex. 

However, Armani realised that keeping communication neutral achieves two results—for the younger generation it resolves their doubts and gives them the power of information to address their interpersonal relationship matters better, and for the older generation it gives them a validation as well as a sense of purpose. “We did not see any objection or difficulty in communicating with older age groups as our focus was mostly on education and wellbeing which was taken very sportingly by the older generation,” he shares.

Developing an all-encompassing approach

“I want us collectively, as a society, to move away from the notion that only young people are having sex. Plenty of people from older generations are having sex and we would be better off if we just accepted that,” presses Srinivasan. “You'll be pleasantly surprised to learn that over 70 per cent of adults in the age group of 40-45 are already using sex toys as part of their lifestyle. The data proved that our preconceived notions needed a reality check. There is a significant demand from an audience that’s been grossly overlooked,” cites Gupta.

Meanwhile, Narendra also verifies that the older audience is actively engaging in sex, contrary to what is assumed. Pleasure is for everyone, and so are sex toys. “Our data even reflected that Indians aged over 35 years have the most active sex life, with 60 per cent of respondents reportedly having sex or masturbating multiple times a week,” adds Gupta.

While Armani does understand that curiosity and interest are high in the 18-25-year audience, he points out that the buying power and willingness to invest in sex toys is greater in the 25-35-year age bracket. “The next set of audience is 35-45 who make up for 22 per cent of traffic and 15 per cent of sales.” Talking about the differences in the purchase behaviour of those in their 40s, 50s and 60s, he says, “When we compare buying habits from 2013-16 and 2020-23, we notice an upsurge. Not only have we been selling more products to this age group, but the questions they ask and the products they seek have also been on the rise. In the earlier years, this age group amounted to 12 per cent traffic but a meagre 4-5 per cent revenue versus 15 per cent traffic and 20-25 per cent revenue averagely in the last three years.” 

Armani admits that his brand has not yet narrowed its focus to a certain age demographic but he does realise the immense value ImBesharam can bring by catering to the age groups of 40s and 50s as this age group is quite active and the second-highest revenue-generating age group on the website. 

Besides continuing your association with pleasure, Narendra also thinks that sex and sex toys should be normalised for women in their 40s, 50s and beyond due to the emotional, mental, and physical complexities that accompany perimenopause and menopause. “The hormones in the body change during menopause; women can struggle with arousal, and vaginal health is also affected. Basically, the better blood flow you have in these areas, the more the tissue stays healthy, and orgasms and sexual arousal bring a lot more blood flow in the pelvis so it can be really, really helpful. It is important to add, though, that during these phases, people do struggle with lubrication a lot because of hormonal changes. In such cases, consider using a water-based lubricant. For men, as they grow older, because of hormonal changes, there might be a difficulty in having erections. So, toys can help add more stimulation.” 

Gupta shares that MyMuse did a recent event in collaboration with Entrepreneurs’ Organisation (EO) in Bangalore, with the sole intention of speaking to an older audience and raising awareness. "Older folks love our content on our sex-ed platform 'unLearn.' We cover topics like how to have an active sex life in your fifties, what male menopause is all about, and other issues that are rarely spoken about." While Mangaldas’ brand Leezu’s collaborates with key opinion leaders like Vasudha Rai for social media activations, Armani likes to stick to three rules—normalising sex toys, and not tantalising them; allowing for women to take charge as they bring in the human factor; and providing practical sex guides. “In fact, it might make things easier on the younger generations if the older generations experienced what the hype [about sex toys] was all about,” shares Srinivasan.

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