Having sex during your period is really not a big deal

While the experience can be subjective, period sex isn’t as menacing as it is made to be. Here’s why it deserves your attention, not the taboo status

In a country where both sex and periods are topics of taboo, to think that people wouldn’t be scandalised by the thought of period sex is perhaps too good to be true. In rural India—which makes up approximately 65 per cent of the country’s population—areas are struggling to come to terms with the idea of menstrual and sexual hygiene, let alone the need of any dialogue pertaining to them. A 2022 study based on menstrual hygiene practices among adolescent girls in tribal areas of central India revealed that only 45 per cent of girls were aware of the concept of menstruation before their menarche. In fact, up until 2016, a sizeable number of girls—45 per cent to be precise—did not consider periods as a “normal” phenomenon. Moreover, the statistics related to sex are even more alarming for obvious reasons, ranging from cultural tendencies to preconceived stigmas.

The world might perceive India as one of the countries whose ancient culture celebrated sex and pleasure widely. However, open conversations about sex haven’t been a thing of reality in Indian households for generations together.  In 2014, India’s former health and welfare minister, Harsh Vardhan, also raised his voice to ban sex education of any kind in schools. He proposed yoga as a subject instead.

However, social media and progressive cinema are slowly paving the way for a period- and sex-forward India. Sexual compatibility—which includes intimacy and sensitivity associated with sexual intercourse—is now among the top priorities in relationships, even for Indians. Communication channels around otherwise uncomfortable topics—including period sex—are opening up. Messy, painful, dangerous or tricky can be some words that pop into your head upon the thought of period sex. Some women, however, vouch for its perquisites. “It’s probably the most satisfying sex I’ve ever had; it feels absolutely amazing—to both me and my partner,” shares Hannah, a 26-year-old PR professional from Mumbai. “I get severe cramping because of PCOS and my cramps were gone—I would 10/10 recommend period sex to those who want  to try it,” she adds. While these experiences can vary from person to person, it is certainly not as menacing as it is assumed to be. Experts from the field talk about why period sex deserves your attention and not a taboo status.  

Busting myths and misconceptions

“Combine the stigma around period blood with the taboo around sexuality and you’ve got a topic many people are too squeamish to talk about: period sex. Honestly, though, it really isn’t such a big deal,” says Leeza Mangaldas, sexuality educator and author, The Sex Book. “While misogynistic and shame-laden myths abound, suggesting that period sex is ‘dirty’ or ‘immoral’, or that menstrual blood is ‘impure’, the actual fact is that both menstruation and sex are just a natural and vital parts of life for many of us, and there’s nothing gross or wrong about either, not even both together.” Along the same lines, Dr Yuvraj Jadeja, a gynaecologist and IVF specialist says, “Historically, menstrual blood has been linked to ideas of impurity or uncleanliness in various cultures, which has also influenced attitudes towards sexual activity during menstruation. It goes as deep as it being sinful religiously and not something you should engage in. In fact, there are religions and cultural groups that don’t even touch women while they are menstruating, forget getting intimate during that phase.”

However, these orthodox apprehensions aren’t the only factors that are holding back individuals from engaging in period sex. “People are hesitant to engage in period sex because of how it is perceived—they think periods equal some sort of a monthly detox and period blood is some sort of toxic substance that is expelled, which leads to reservations towards making sexual contact,” says Dr Tanaya Narendra, a sex educator who goes by the name Dr Cuterus on Instagram. “However, periods are just a sign of a pregnancy that didn’t take place—so all the nutrition that was built up but didn’t fertilise eventually comes out of the body in the form of menstrual blood.” Besides this, concerns pertaining to sexually transmitted diseases (STIs), dishevelled execution, and the ambivalence associated with unwanted pregnancies are what makes period sex a question mark for many. Women also fret about elevated contractions and cramps, while hygiene could be another possible aspect. 

“An additional notion of catching an infection or an STI during period sex is a very common fear that people have. And, of course, practically most people find it too messy to have period sex due to active blood flow,” shares Jadeja. However, these aren’t things to panic about. “It is important to note that menstrual blood does not cause any STI, but the fact that most people don’t use protection during period sex is what increases the risks of STIs as they think it is safe to do so due to decreased chances of pregnancy. Also, chances of infection sometimes are high post-sex if personal hygiene is not maintained. These include vaginal infections, fungal infections and UTIs, whether you have sex during your period or not.” However, Narendra does warn us to be careful, as any unprotected sexual contact with blood always carries the risk of STIs like hepatitis B and other infections, unless both partners get themselves checked on an annual basis. “Since the cervix—the protective mechanism of your uterus—moves lower (than usual) during your period, it is easy to get an ascending infection. But it’s not unhealthy, not unhygienic in any way.”

Mitali Rathod, a gynaecologist who also goes by the name Dr Uterus on Instagram, says, “Women who are menstruating at an interval of 28-37 days every month have their ovulation between the 10th to 21st day of the cycle and once that window passes, there would be autolysis of an egg and corpus luteum occurs. This means that if there’s no egg, the sperm would have no meaning. However, if you’re having irregular cycles, you can never know when you’re ovulating and what’s actually happening in your system. Considering sperms can live inside your vaginal canal for as long as five days if you get intimate in the later part of your bleeding days, chances of you getting pregnant increases significantly.” Along the same lines, Narendra says, “The sperm could survive in the cervical crypts (little caves in the uterus) and other parts in the vagina for up to five days, so having unprotected sex in anticipation of no pregnancy at all isn’t a good idea. Remember, you can get pregnant if you indulge in period sex (minus protection).”

The benefits of period sex

Contrary to popular belief, many women enjoy period sex. “I am on the birth control pill and I’ve realised that while I always bleed exactly five days after my last pill, the flow is quite spotty and staggered. However, having sex helps with this. I almost always start flowing properly and the cramps, too, are somewhat minimised,” begins a 32-year-old fashion journalist (name withheld on request). “For me, my flow is a lot less than women who are not pill-dependent. So the idea that having sex while on your period is messy doesn’t exist as much for me. My partner and I have a very active sex life. He is fully aware that sex on periods is more pleasurable for me, so this makes it better for him too. Once you are able to skirt through the idea that it could be messy, it might just be the best sex you have had.” For Angela Cecilia, a Delhi-based marketing professional, period sex is surely different; however, she’s on the fence about it. “I had PCOS a while ago and when I had period sex, I experienced regular periods. Once I stopped indulging in period sex, my cycle stopped being regular.”

The experts align with these women—period sex has their stamp of approval. “Sexual activity and orgasms can help alleviate menstrual cramps and reduce overall discomfort due to the release of endorphins, which act as natural pain relievers. Menstrual blood can act as a natural lubricant, potentially making sexual activity more comfortable for some individuals,” says Jadeja. Narendra addresses one of the most speculated benefits—relief from painful cramps. “The reason why we experience period pain is because our uterus is squeezing out blood; many times, during the process, there isn’t sufficient oxygen supply to the uterus for some moments, which is also referred to as ‘anoxia’. Orgasms can ease period pain by drawing more blood to the pelvis, it helps mitigate anoxia and also delivers pain-reducing chemicals to the area. Besides that, sex is just enjoyable—so it could make periods less miserable.”

How to have bloody good period sex?

If you’re contemplating period sex, understanding it can help you fully enjoy the experience without any apprehensions, says Mangaldas. “The first step is to assess how comfortable you are with the idea. Then, equip yourself with the right information,” she says. “Both partners need to be comfortable with anything you plan on doing together. Don’t pressurise each other to do anything either individual feels hesitation around. If hesitation around period sex from either individual comes from a place of misogynistic disgust rather than simply not being in the mood emotionally or physically, or not feeling ready or safe, you can perhaps talk about those biases together. Communication is so valuable, and can be key to understanding each other and yourselves better.”

“Placing a towel on the bed can help manage any potential mess and make the experience more comfortable. Females can also use cervical discs or shallow cups to prevent flow during sex,” says Jadeja. “Consider opting for positions that may be more comfortable during menstruation. If penetrative sex doesn’t feel right, focus on other forms of intimacy, such as oral sex or mutual touching. Individuals with specific health conditions such as infections or reproductive disorders should consult with a healthcare professional for advice,” he furthers. “It’s always a great idea to have a shower before sex—it gets you clean and fresh and is relaxing too. At the very least, both partners should wash their hands and their genitals. If you’re using toys, be sure to clean them properly before and after use,” says Mangaldas.

Lastly, there’s no pressure to have period sex if you don’t feel like it. For instance, some people may prefer to just curl up with a hot water bottle or simply snuggle and nap together, concludes Mangaldas. 

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