Is it healthy to use make-up as a coping mechanism to manage your emotions?

No blocking mechanism, let alone make-up or beauty, can fix certain emotional and mental battles. Read that again

There’s a thin line between dabbing concealer to tuck away puffiness spawned by a hangover, and stamping heavy base make-up to camouflage the zits and blemishes on your skin. The difference is intent. 

The origin of make-up dates back to many centuries, and ever since its inception, it was meant to enhance one’s features. The realm of make-up has evolved over the years, so much so that it possesses transformative powers of sorts today. It’s all good till this power is exercised as a tool of self-expression; things might take a menacing turn when beauty is used as a vehicle of unhealthy escapism. 

For instance, not wanting to address the insecurities associated with the appearance of acne on your skin, and simply applying make-up over it almost equates to brushing your emotions under the carpet. Similarly, right after experiencing an episode of emotional turmoil, some of us tend to layer on make-up with the conviction to face the world without fully acknowledging what we were feeling just moments earlier. However, no kind of blocking mechanism, let alone make-up or beauty, can fix the emotional or mental battles you’re fighting. We speak to three psychologists to understand the pros and cons of using beauty to grapple with disturbing emotions and self-image issues, especially one’s physical appearance.  

The rise of self-image issues

In India, 77.6 per cent of adolescent girls experience body image dissatisfaction, revealed a survey from 2018. Meanwhile, in the United Kingdom, one in five adults (20 per cent) felt shame, just over one-third (34 per cent) felt down or low, and 19 per cent felt disgusted by their body image in 2019, according to the data presented by the Mental Health Foundation. Evidently, having self-image issues is a problem. Despite several surface-level solutions available at one’s disposal, it is still subjected to a lack of acknowledgement. “I will go as far as to say I have yet to work with a psychotherapy client who has never experienced body image issues,” begins Shaurya Gahlawat, a psychologist and psychotherapist. “A number of people across demographics experience challenges related to their self-image. The prevalence can be influenced by factors such as societal pressures, media representations, personal experiences, and mental health conditions.”

Here, it is important to note that self-image and body image are related yet different concepts. “Self-image entails a larger conception of one's identity, one’s sense of being, so to speak. It is more than just one’s physical appearance,” says Hansika Kapoor, psychologist at Monk Prayogshala. “On the other hand, body image relates to one’s perception of the way they look (to themselves as well as to other people).” Along the same lines, Dr Era Dutta adds, “I would say every person has self-image issues. Of course, this is an exaggeration. But I say this based on the fact that most of us don’t even realise what ‘self-image’ even comprises. The self involves who we are, who we think we are, and who we wish to be. Self-image is defined as more than just mere physical appearance. It is unique to every individual. Most people struggle with self-image to the extent of not identifying with some of its aspects.” Having said that, body dysmorphia and now even skin dysmorphia—thanks to absurdly unrealistic trends (glass skin, we’re looking at you)—are increasingly common, especially among those in their teenage years. 

Social media as a catalyst

In 2018, Allure to girls between the ages of 6 and 18 to hear their perspectives on body image. “I am really insecure about the way my body looks. There is this whole trend about having a ‘thigh gap’ on social media. And, I don’t have that. This makes me not normal, not beautiful,” said 14-year-old Rachel. Ten-year-old Izzi’s thoughts were even more nerve-wracking. “I’m not skinny like my friends. I have this friend who is super skinny because she dances; I wear black leggings all the time because I feel it makes me look small and skinny.” The major source of these misconceptions for impressionable minds is pretty obvious—social media and pop culture.

The “crying girl” make-up trend from last year is just one of the many times social media has glamorised the manipulation of emotions. The hashtag #cryingmakeup, for instance, has 141.5 million views on TikTok. “The beauty of trends these days is that while they catch on fast, they also highlight some of our deep insecurities. No one looks good when crying, and hence the dewy look with a reddish nose is supposed to represent looking good even when crying. Many impressionable young minds on social media don’t understand the issue with this,” expresses Dutta. “Some might view this trend as a creative outlet for individuals to artistically explore and express emotions, using make-up as a medium. On the other hand, concerns may arise about the potential trivialisation of genuine emotional experiences. If the trend is not approached with sensitivity, there's a risk of minimising the depth and complexity of real sadness,” worries Gahlawat.

Besides this one problematic trend, depicting that your life is perpetually put together—despite whatever is actually happening—on social media, is contributing to the overall vulnerability. That one also needs to look picture-perfect in each portrayal, takes things from bad to worse. 

The perils of using beauty as a means to cope 

“A 26-year-old female client once shared with me that she only started to get excited about make-up and experiment with it because as a teenager, she was bullied for not being pretty and having a relatively darker complexion than her peers then. This unfortunate experience helped her develop a hobby and a passion, but it also made her lose her confidence and have body image issues. In therapy, we worked together to develop her self-confidence so that she is able to use make-up as a superpower and not as an escape,” shares Gahlawat. Running away from your emotions makes them chase you with a further vengeance. “If make-up is being used to feel good and lift you up every now and then, that’s great. But when used solely as a coping skill without addressing the core emotions, it can backfire,” cites Dutta. 

While make-up can be a tool for self-expression and personal enjoyment, relying on it purely for escapism may mask underlying issues related to self-esteem and body image, affirms psychotherapist and relationship counsellor Ruchi Ruuh. “Beauty and make-up usually offer temporary relief, but can interfere with authentic expression. Using make-up is a healthy form of self-expression; however, relying on only beauty fixes can curb emotional growth.” Whatever you decide to cache beneath make-up—whether it is tears or insecurities—you’re indirectly setting yourself up for a disastrous breakdown. However, associating joy, creativity, confidence, and curiosity with beauty and make-up is normal and fine. 

The better way to approach beauty and emotions

“If applying make-up is part of a broader self-care routine and a conscious decision to present yourself confidently, it can be a positive tool,” says Gahlawat, “However, if using make-up becomes a habitual way to avoid confronting or processing challenges, it might be worth exploring more holistic approaches, including mental health counselling, engaging in self-reflection, and adopting healthier coping mechanisms,” suggests the psychologist. “It’s important that one develops a healthy relationship with their body and face, being more accepting  of their flaws. Finding a fine balance between creative expression for the joy it brings to doing it to seek validation. Finding a more sustainable way of seeking this validation, via friends, family or your own work, rather than seeking it online,” shares Ruuh

Dutta advises learning to understand one’s emotions better. “Emotions are neither good or bad, nor are they positive or negative. They all have their place. Learn to read an emotion wheel and name your emotions to yourself multiple times a day. And stop with the toxic positivity of ‘good vibes only’ all the time—nobody can constantly be happy. We aren’t unicorns.” She furthers, “Don’t just use one coping skill; try to have many in your toolkit. After all, even if a car has four tyres and a spare one, how can you travel with just one strategy? Exploring emotions is enhanced through journaling, talking it out, or starting meditation.”

On using beauty rituals towards emotional health and well-being, Prachi Bhandari, founder of Aminu, says, “Rituals are a holistic approach to self-care, nurturing the skin, mind, and spirit. Beauty rituals offer a precious pause in our fast-paced lives, allowing us to reconnect with ourselves and fostering mindfulness and self-appreciation. They are a form of self-expression and self-respect that can help you feel more grounded, centred, and renewed.” 

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