Why do new mums feel pressurised to get into shape right after giving birth?

After nine months of gestating a human, it doesn’t seem fair that women have to “bounce back” into shape soon after

In 2012, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan appeared on the red carpet at Cannes just months after giving birth to her daughter. Instead of being celebrated, the actress was body-shamed and heavily criticised by the media for not having “bounced back” into shape. Recently, Neha Dhupia was subject to a series of nasty comments from internet trolls about her post-baby weight on Instagram. These incidents are ten years apart, yet speak volumes of people’s deep-rooted psyche of what a woman’s body should look like right after a baby. Tabloids love plastering celebrity moms’ before and after photos on their front pages and social media can be cruel too. With picture-perfect images of new moms rocking a bikini or photos of their barely-there postpartum tummy, it leaves many first-time mothers with a distorted perspective of what to expect. There’s so much wrong with this dialogue and it needs to change.

The social media utopia

“The bounce back culture ultimately boils down to the fact that more women who ‘bounce back’ share images on social media than those that don’t,” says Sanjana Rishi, a former attorney turned advocate of sustainable fashion. For a new mom struggling with body image issues, Instagram can be a huge trigger, especially when you come across photos of genetically gifted moms who are back to their pre-baby weight in no time. “Don't we all want to post pictures of ourselves looking like we've snapped back? Especially because it isn't just celebrities and influencers who do it–so-called 'normal' people do it too. We all have those friends who have two kids back to back and still look super slim and toned and we go 'How? What are you doing?’,” says Komal Basith, a Bengaluru-based beauty influencer.

Instagram’s utopian images portray a twisted perspective of a woman’s body after having a baby. Rishi, who gave birth at the beginning of the year, has been unapologetic when it comes to sharing her REAL postpartum body on Instagram–stretch marks, leaking breasts and all. “The postpartum journey can feel extremely isolating at times, and I sometimes share mine just in the hope that I find some solidarity. I’m fortunate that it resonates with other people in a way that continues to grow my community,” adds Rishi.

A study conducted by University of Illinois and Brigham Young University in 2017 reported that 46 percent of the women surveyed were left feeling self-conscious, hopeless, depressed and frustrated after being exposed to unrealistic images of post-baby bodies in the media. “I definitely think there’s a dearth of realistic mommy images on social media–what you see is a very skewed version and very few people are out in the open talking about it,” says Mansi Zaveri, founder and CEO of Kids Stop Press, one of India’s first and most prominent parenting websites. This isn’t to say that those who do get their pre-pregnancy bodies back quickly can’t, or shouldn’t, share it on their social media, it’s just not representative of most women. Everyone’s journey is unique.

Mental health issues

If dealing with postpartum hormones isn’t difficult enough, adding the pressure to lose the weight quickly poses its own set of mental health issues. “The changes a current-age mom has to deal with post-birth are immense and overwhelming,” says Luke Coutinho, a holistic lifestyle coach, integrative and lifestyle medicine, and founder of YouCare-All about YOU. “We consult a lot of cases for postpartum depression, anxiety and stress new mums go through. Feelings of lack of self-worth, self-confidence and emotional eating disorders stem from the pressure of losing weight and looking a certain way immediately after giving birth,” he explains.

Basith spent two years trying to accept her new body. Her second baby was born right before the first pandemic-induced lockdown and she often turned to food for comfort. “I've only just started addressing using food to soothe in therapy and am only just seeing a change in my appearance as a result, but I put so much pressure on myself,” she says. Coming to terms with the new body is hard, but we have to find a way to normalise this and embrace our new bodies.

Unhealthy and rapid weight-loss methods

“When I interviewed Mandira Bedi (the video is on our YouTube channel), she spoke of how she went through postpartum depression and it was very important for her to get back into shape. She resorted to a few extreme measures which, in hindsight, didn’t seem like the right thing to do,” says Zaveri. In the age of “diet” culture, it’s easy to find a calorie-restrictive diet online as a quick fix.

“Extreme dieting during the breastfeeding phase makes the body enter a famine mode which is stressful, as a result of which increased cortisol and estrogen levels contribute to fat gain and irritable moods,” explains Coutinho. “We also come across mothers who put themselves through intense fasting and calorie restriction just to lose weight,” he adds. Breastfeeding or not, the body goes through drastic changes after birthing a baby and it needs time to recover. Physically, the body is prone to injury thanks to loose joints, ligaments and weak abdominal muscles, so to jump into a high-intensity workout regime is a recipe for disaster. For designer Amrita Thakur, listening to her body was most important. “I wasn’t dieting or running to the gym to ‘snap back’. Personally, I hate that term because what does it even mean? My focus was on building strength because my posture had taken a hit, as it does from lifting or feeding your baby,” she says.

Celebrity culture

Tabloids are notorious for heralding a celebrity’s quick return to their post-baby body. So it’s completely natural for people to think there’s something wrong if they don’t see results soon. “You are comparing yourself to women who have to look the way they do as that is their main line of work. You don’t know the pressure they go through,” says Dr Ruchi Puri, a GP and a mental health counselor with over 25 years of experience. She makes a fair point. In a cut-throat industry where looks are everything, celebrities face their fair share of struggle to remain relevant.

Despite this, celebrities in India and globally are starting to celebrate their postpartum bodies in their true form. “If we look at Kareena Kapoor, she’s taken her own sweet time to lose it [the weight] and has been unabashedly honest about it,” says Zaveri. Meanwhile, Neha Dhupia proudly walked the ramp as a showstopper for aLL, a plus-size fashion brand during Lakme Fashion Week earlier this year. The actress often uses her social media account to spread messages about body positivity, especially when it comes to postpartum weight. It's refreshing to see the narrative change.

What really matters

“Let’s talk about recovering from pregnancy and birth. Let’s talk about the period right after giving birth is the loneliest time. Navigating a new life and a new phase can be very alienating,” says Thakur. There are so many other conversations to be had aside from how to become a “yummy mummy” in no time. The more we shift the dialogue to what really matters–healing, being in the present and being kind to our new bodies–the more at peace we can be with ourselves, and the more we can truly enjoy the miracle of having given birth. Ultimately, the scales will change, it just doesn’t have to be right away.

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