Women-led online platforms in India offer both sex toys and sex education

More and more sex tech spaces emerging online in the form of e-commerce websites for sex toys, sexual wellbeing and awareness platforms are helmed by women

An online search to purchase sex toys about three to four years ago would largely lead you to questionable websites selling obviously phallic-looking ‘massagers’, with visuals designed to cater to the male gaze. Even if one browsed from the anonymity of the incognito mode, it was quite likely that you would be overcome with a sense of shame for seeking ways of (self) pleasure. 

This was much before homegrown brands in India introduced well-designed and inclusive sexual wellness products and, with it, candid and comprehensive conversations on sex in a country where it is only talked about in hushed tones, if at all. 

The numbers say it all

While there’s no expansive data on the Indian sex toys industry yet, a report states that the Indian sex toys market was valued at US$ 91.34 million in FY2020 and is expected to grow at a compound annual growth rate of 15.87 per cet until FY2026. A survey titled 'India Uncovered: Insightful Analysis of Sex Products' Trends in India' by ThatsPersonal.com revealed that while men, who constitute 64 per cent of all buyers, tend to spend more time on the site ordering, women make bigger purchases. Some cities in India even boast of more female buyers than men. Despite its large female and female-identifying clientele, the ones running the businesses were hardly so. But the wheel is being reinvented as more and more sex tech spaces emerge online in the form of e-commerce websites for sex toys, sexual wellbeing and awareness platforms and more, helmed by women. Their fuelling inspiration? Their lived experiences and the want to take back agency of their bodies, sexuality, sexual health and wellness.

Sans any judgement

Sachee Malhotra, who has dealt with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) since she was 15, knows the difficulty and discomfort of talking about one’s body, especially if it is a young woman, even to one’s family and friends. She also experienced painful sex and vaginal dryness later in life, which made her seek “products that were safe and good for my body, but I couldn’t find any back then.” So she decided to flip the script with That Sassy Thing in 2021, an e-commerce website for body-safe intimate wellness products as well as a platform for sex-ed masterclasses that are “inclusive and realistic.”

For Malhotra, the founding philosophy behind That Sassy Thing was also fuelled by the fact that “most sexual wellness products looked too ‘in the face’ and ill-designed, hence intimidating to most. In fact, when we spoke to men and women, they felt that the whole experience of most sexual wellness brands and marketplaces felt intimidating and uncomfortable, almost making people judge themselves for visiting those websites.” 

Stemming from personal experience 

Mumbai-born Priyal Agrawal’s friend was 19 when she found out she was pregnant and sought abortion services. On being denied the same owing to her unmarried status, she had to resort to consuming multiple oral contraceptive pills which led to month-long bleeding. “When I took her to the gynaecologist, I realised how we lack basic education and access to medication when it comes to sexual and reproductive health.” So in 2021, Agrawal founded StandWeSpeak, a tech-based platform for all sexual and reproductive needs. StandWeSpeak’s anonymous chatbot, Mae, provides age-appropriate, medically, legally accurate information on all sexual and reproductive needs, besides conducting both offline and online workshops.

At StandWeSpeak’s website, anonymity and confidentiality of the user seeking information is cardinal. These are features informed by Agrawal’s personal experience of navigating an abusive relationship earlier in her life. “I started thinking about this from my own experience.” She added that women have started bringing a change in the sex-tech industry due to the things they and their friends experience in their life.  

For Malhotra, too, her personal experiences inform her decisions at That Sassy Thing. “My experiences navigating societal pressures and the world at large has immensely contributed to building That Sassy Thing, both in terms of products and communications. In terms of products, had it not been for my shitty experience using flavoured lubes, we wouldn’t have developed a better, plant-based lube,” she notes, adding that having conversations with other women has helped her further understand their needs and wants.

Navigating challenges 

Both Malhotra and Agrawal share more than just the industry. Being young Indian women striving to make conversations around sex mainstream is a tough row to hoe as they swim against the tides of taboo, shame, trolls and stigma. “For the first year, nobody in my family or even my friends knew that I was working on this idea,” says Agrawal. “Even while pitching to investors, there were backlashes initially. I was told that what I am doing is wrong and unethical.”

Malhotra concurs of the status quo, adding that she has even had manufacturers say “Apne husband ya father ko call pe lao (get your husband or father on the call).” “You aren’t just fighting and changing the mindsets of customers, but all stakeholders you’re working and aspiring to work with, which can be really exhausting. Moreover, being a female entrepreneur, you have to constantly prove yourself and work hard to make people take you seriously, like you mean business,” shares Malhotra.

“I definitely struggled with this myself in the beginning,” says Anushka Gupta, co-founder of MyMuse which claims to be ‘India’s first bedroom essentials brand.’ “As an Indian woman who’s grown up equal parts liberal and conservative, I did worry what my parents, grandparents and extended family would think of my business.” Gupta runs MyMuse with her partner and husband Sahil Gupta.

MyMuse’s products are designed to strip sex and sexuality of the male gaze and cater to female sexuality and pleasure by being inclusive and incorporating the female experience into product design and marketing. This involves creating products that focus on the experience of intimacy, pleasure and arousal as opposed to simply replicating male anatomy. Gupta adds that MyMuse strives to fill the gap for products that cater to women's sexual health and wellness, and hence, believes being a woman in the sexual wellness industry is “a huge boon as other women and people are more open about their concerns and problems, and feel less intimidated talking to me.”

The Indian sexual wellness industry is not just young, it has only just taken its first step. And these women entrepreneurs are steering a more nuanced, non-judgemental conversation on sex. Entrepreneurs like Malhotra and Agarwal are pioneering this shift by making sex education free and accessible to all. “People have become more open and are willing to experiment more in the bedroom. They’re seeking education as well, and that’s really encouraging for us,” shares Malhotra. Gupta, too, is optimistic. “Female and LGBTQ+ representation in conversations surrounding pleasure and love is increasing, which is an incredibly positive sign.”

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