How this Indian trans woman battled abuse and bullying

Dr Mona Varonica Campbell—winner of the 2017 Miss India Trans Woman pageant—shares her success story

"My name is Dr Mona Varonica Campbell, and I am an Indian model and luxury lifestyle travel influencer. I have a dual PhD in Aeronautics and Astronautics from Stanford University, but that is beside the point. My most significant achievement in life is that I am a plus-sized trans woman who was able to shatter stereotypes in an industry that has unrealistic beauty standards.My assigned gender at birth was male: I was born a boy, and my given name at birth was Mohan Naidu. I spent an idyllic childhood growing up in Vijayawada, Andhra Pradesh, and I think one of the most significant contributing factors that make me the carefree person I am is that I have incredibly supportive and understanding parents. My sister, who is older than me by eight years, lovingly treated me as a younger sister long before I identified as trans. Trans-parentI think what the trans community shares in common are similar growing experiences during the latent phase of realising their gender identity, and I am no different. I remember looking at my older sister as a younger child, wanting to be like her and I would ask my mother to also let me wear frocks. My mother, who has always been a homemaker, never reprimanded me or made me feel small. She indulged my innocent wishes. Even in public, and despite growing up in a very small town, home to a conservative, tightly-knit community, I don't remember being criticised or any instances of verbal transphobia. But I also feel that as the family's patriarch, things were slightly different for my father. I remember one of his close friends would always draw attention to how I dressed, going in so far as to gesticulate to make his point. Eventually, my mother intervened and requested my father to keep his friend out of the house. In a strange turn of events, this same gentleman's son recently returned from New Jersey and proposed marriage, but I am not too keen on having a transphobic father-in-law!

Trans-formation

My moment of truth, however, was when I was in the sixth standard. I attended a top-ranked boys school. I observed my classmates, all around me were strips of dark hair sprouting on their upper lips, voices that were cracking and turning baritone, and the other noticeable hormone spurts associated with male adolescence.

In the eighth grade, my father enrolled me in a male hostel, and bathing in the common shower was a nightmare. Other students would gang up on me and grab my body. My figure made me the target for bullying and sexual harassment—I still wonder if reporting the harassment was the right thing to do, but I endured the trauma for two years until I passed out from the 10th grade.

The liberal atmosphere of my ensuing college years helped me reconcile my intersex biology and trans identity. While my father wanted me to become a doctor, I opposed his wishes for the first time in my life and enrolled in NIFT Hyderabad to pursue a degree in fashion design. The fashion fraternity is very gay-friendly, and even the teaching faculty counselled my parents to embrace my individuality rather than making me fit in. From then on, it was smooth sailing—I decided to start transitioning and started taking hormones.

Trans-cendental

On a lighter note, I have been very lucky in love. I've dated a string of supportive men who have always treated me as the woman I deserve to be seen as, and I am never short of admirers. Right now, I am dating two men—one is Indian while the other is British-Arab. Eventually, I will date one of them exclusively. My parents prefer the Indian boy for obvious reasons. I am nearing 30, and my parents have started asking me to settle down with a suitable boy.

My dating advice to trans women is this: never put sex on the table too early during the courtship period. The harsh reality is that many cis men fetishise trans women to fulfil their sexual fantasies. Still, they will never reveal that they are only interested in you physically, making empty promises to get into a legitimate relationship with you. Time is the deciding factor—when a man is genuinely interested in you, he will not fall off the map or ghost you even if you deny him immediate gratification.

Looking ahead, the fashion industry is ageist, and I have been considering my options now that I am 30 and outgrowing the industry. My life took a drastic turn when NASA USA recruited me as senior intern at the Aerospace Design Team and as senior marketing team head at NASA Germany in 2020. Keeping my father's wishes in mind, I am exhilarated to make the switch from fashion to academia finally."

- As told to Nolan Lewis

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