The quiet revolution attempting to redefine Indian masculinity

By challenging parochial gender stereotypes and no longer shying away from expressing themselves openly, Indian men are gradually breaking outdated traditions to support gender equity

Gender stereotypes play out daily in almost all Indian homes. It’s a norm to see fathers not taking a break from work, embodying strength but also perpetuating harmful notions of masculinity. 

Like restaurateur Ishaan Saluja, who grew up in Delhi and internalised the ‘manly’ role of a ‘protector,’ unnecessarily intervening on behalf of his mother—asking rickshaw drivers to put out their beedis or glaring at strangers in the street—even though his mother never needed or asked to be protected. “This nurtured the assumption that my mother is vulnerable and doesn’t have agency. The fact that I can support her as she explores her life never occurred [to me] until I was done with schooling,” says Saluja, who frequently stood up to his father while growing up, to protect his mother from seemingly minor things. 

When a man starts working, it’s not rare for him to feel like he’s “less of a man” because he wasn’t earning “enough” money. Because, even today,a man’s value depends on what he brings to the table. 

It wasn’t until his early 20s, influenced by the compassionate Fathers at his convent school, his work at an NGO discussing sexual health with students, and a degree in English literature that allowed him to view society with a broad mind, that Saluja finally redefined his understanding of masculinity—a shift vital for his mental wellbeing.  

“Traditional norms often force men to suppress their emotions, leading to unresolved mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and burnout. By encouraging emotional expression and vulnerability, men can seek help without fear of judgment, fostering healthier coping mechanisms and reducing the stigma around mental health,” explains Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M) Psychotherapist, and Founder-Director, Gateway of Healing. Expressing oneself openly also fosters healthier relationships, reducing gender-based conflicts, and creating a culture where both men and women can prioritise mental well-being. 

How is masculinity being redefined in India? 

The notion of what Indian masculinity is is undergoing a transformation, moving beyond traditional ideas of dominance and emotional suppression. Men across India—particularly in urban areas—are increasingly embracing vulnerability, emotional openness, and caregiving roles, challenging outdated stereotypes. Initiatives from organisations such as as by CEQUIN (Centre for Equity and Inclusion) and other efforts by organisation like Men Against Violence and Abuse (MAVA) are sparking essential conversations about mental health, gender equity, and healthier expressions of masculinity.

It’s the normalisation of discussions around mental health that is breaking the masculine stereotype of stoicism. Men are taking on caregiving roles, sharing household responsibilities, and supporting their partners’ careers. And it’s not just in urban areas. “This is helping Indian men look at vulnerability as a strength not weakness, challenging the notion that men must always be ‘strong’ and unemotional. This redefinition allows men to seek help, express themselves, and build deeper, more authentic relationships,” says Dr Tuganit. 

Personal realisations also drive long-lasting change, emphasises Lora Krishnamurthi Prabhu, Co-Founder and Managing Director at CEQUIN. “At our workshop in Mewat, Haryana, young men were made to analyse daily tasks to see that women perform physically demanding labour, often working longer hours, thus reshaping their perception of women's strength. Similarly in Delhi, privileged students’ assumption of gender equality was shattered when they compared their parents’ career growth, recognising the invisible barriers restricting women’s progress.” Together, these shifts signal meaningful progress towards attempting to create an inclusive society, benefiting men, women, and communities alike. 

Why is challenging gender stereotypes difficult in India? 

Challenging age-old gender stereotypes comes with its own difficulties, primarily due to deeply ingrained cultural expectations, patriarchy, and conditioning. Many men find themselves struggling to balance traditional pressures with contemporary ideals.  

Additionally, older generations often hold rigid views of masculinity, criticising younger men who attempt to adopt healthier behaviours, especially as most media still glorifies toxic masculine traits.  

“Years of suppressing emotions can make it difficult for men to reconnect with their feelings, leading to frustration and a sense of being emotionally ‘stuck’. Plus, some men, in their efforts to support gender equality, may unintentionally adopt a ‘saviour’ mentality, which can undermine the very progress they seek to make,” Dr Tugani points out.  

Toxic masculinity remains visible in the camaraderie and patriarchal attitudes prevalent when groups of men discuss women or interact with their partners. Slut-shaming is still common. A drunk man will still insist on driving home in the middle of the night instead of letting his sober wife drive, just to prove that ‘he’s the man’. Or will throw a fit and walk home. The whole notion that a housewife belongs to the house still exists. Sara Abdullah Pilot, Co-Founder and Chairperson, CEQUIN, points out, “Addressing gender equity with Indian men, often meets resistance due to deep-rooted patriarchy. Many dismiss gender discrimination or question laws favouring women. In rural areas, even small initiatives—like girls' football—face violent backlash from community leaders. Change is slow, but possible by demonstrating how gender equality benefits all. When men see its positive impact—on families, economies, and communities—they become allies, making progress more sustainable and societal norms more inclusive.”

How can Indian men become allies for gender equality? 

At the very least, being an ally means treating women better, speaking up, interrupting male friends when they fail to do so, especially when patriarchal views emerge. You don’t have to preach. “Just sticking to your stance and constantly checking your male privilege, which will also influence receptive peers,” says Saluja. 

“Men can be allies once they redefine masculinity, which helps them advocate for gender equity in workplaces, homes, and communities,” says Dr Tugnait. Men can disrupt workplace biases by speaking out when women are overlooked in meetings, solely given administrative tasks, or denied leadership roles due to gendered assumptions; by calling out sexist humour; and by actively supporting female-led businesses. 

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