Why are we so stressed all the time?

Having a meltdown because you forgot where you placed your keys? There could be a larger problem at play

Stress is conventionally associated with big-picture upheavals in life, such as relationship conflicts, financial concerns or drastic life changes. However, it is easy for smaller triggers to slip in through the cracks. Just cast your mind back to those tiny pinpricks of frustration, such as when you are stuck at a red light while running late for a meeting or being seated next to that co-worker who won’t stop FaceTiming their significant other during work hours. When left unattended, these small aggressors can pile up and start manifesting into physical symptoms, from chronic headaches to persistent fatigue, despite the absence of any apparent trigger. While it isn’t possible to eliminate stress entirely from everyday life, paying attention to these micro-stressors can help pave the way to make you a calmer person.

For starters, Yesha Mehta and Mehek Rohira, therapists at The Mood Space, would like to affirm that stress is a natural human response to an overwhelming situation. “However, in today’s fast-paced world, we are constantly surrounded by stimulation and there is an overdose of this natural response because our minds and bodies were not built to cope with these challenges,” explains Rohira. The problem is compounded by the arrival of micro-stressors; “Picture smaller things like getting stuck in traffic, a messy room, children screaming at home, people not adhering to deadlines, extended working hours, losing things or even hitting snooze on your alarm. These can add up over time and start to drain you physically and emotionally, making you feel overwhelmed,” she says.

Individually, these micro-aggressors may seem insignificant but when compounded, they can really impact your mental health, believes stress management expert Dr Khushboo Thakker Goradia. Ahead, she details the many ways in which micro-stressors can affect your everyday life:

Reducing your personal time and energy

“For instance, a partner promised that they would do the groceries but forgets later and you need to add that to your already lengthy to-do list.”

Reducing your emotional reserves

“These are generally related to negative feelings, such as worrying about someone you love or taking care of sick family members or being frightened about the future.”

Challenging your identity or values

“Any interactions or incidents that routinely conflict with your sense of values or identity will prove to be stressful. This includes being put under pressure to do something that is not consistent with your values, having your self-confidence undermined or having your network disrupted.”

While micro-stressors may arise as momentary challenges, the impact of dealing with them can linger inside our system for hours or even days, believes Goradia. “This translates into feeling like you are a failure or simply not good enough, overburdened and overwhelmed, irritable, angry, impatient and constantly wound-up,” she cautions. A sudden disinterest in life, losing your sense of humour and an unshakeable feeling of dread are all warning signs that you are buckling under the load of these everyday aggressors. It is believed that 60-80 per cent of all medical visits are due to stress-related illnesses and ailments.

Combatting stress in everyday life

Countering stress in one’s daily life starts with being mindful of its triggers—if working on a particular task feels stressful and draining, experts advise setting aside time after the task to de-stress your brain. Likewise, if you are aware that being stuck in traffic leads to a foul mood, you can try listening to soothing music during the drive.

Mehta believes that some lifestyle changes wouldn’t go amiss either when attempting to deal with the multi-pronged beast of everyday stress. For instance, make time for short, ten-minute breaks throughout your work day to get some downtime that can help you feel more productive and relaxed. Also, practice deep breathing and mindfulness exercises that will enable you to feel calm and centred. Set healthy boundaries because prioritising others can leave you with little time for yourself, making you feel drained by the end of the day. Adjust your routine to prevent some of these small stressors from piling up and, when possible, try to nip these triggers in the bud. Plus, identify hobbies and activities that make you feel relaxed and make a conscious attempt to incorporate them in your daily life.

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