Are you indulging in revenge bedtime procrastination?

Sacrificing a good night’s sleep to doomscroll and binge online isn’t making you as happy as you think it is

A darkened bedroom. Cosy enough. The only source of light is emanating from a rectangular form in front of your face. The hours are speeding towards an alarm set for 7 am, and you can’t tear yourself away from the next episode, the next meme, the next chapter, the next MasterChef screw-up. It doesn’t matter what you’re scrolling through or watching—nothing beats the sheer joy of finding these few hours of doing something you think you’re enjoying. You’re indulging in revenge bedtime procrastination—a catchy name for a disorder that is rampant among most of us today.

“Revenge Bedtime Procrastination (RBP) refers to a phenomenon wherein one puts off going to bed at an appropriate time to get restful sleep, in exchange for being able to engage in leisure activities for which they don’t get time during the day,” explains Aekta Brahmbhatt, counsellor, psychologist and founder of Inner Growth Counselling. The trend was noticed a few years ago, popularised by China. The country’s gruelling ‘996’ schedule (working from 9 am to 9 pm every day, for six days a week) led to overworked men and women carving out ‘personal time’ while sacrificing sleep. It was about taking revenge on the day that had controlled their lives. In 2020, it was further exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Why are we always looking for balance?

Most of us have absurd expectations of ourselves—and ironically, while trying to find a ‘balance,’ we tend to go off the rails. We want to work, stay fit, have hobbies, spend time with our children, be social, run errands, maintain relationships, keep sane. And even without these expectations from the 24 hours we have at hand, we have never-ending to-do lists, barely managing to dent them, and function with a constant hum of stress at the back of our brains.

Balance is a pipe dream, and revenge bed procrastination seems like an apt response. Why shouldn’t you feel in control for just a few hours, especially when you choose what you want to do—something that brings a modicum of joy, comic relief or happiness? Organisational psychologist Adam Grant said, “It feels as if you are muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield”. It is the ‘meh’ feeling between depression and flourishing where one feels ‘stuck’ and empty without a sense of purpose or vision. So why not carve a few hours to combat the languishing?

Except that in doing so, you’re just making it worse. “One response to stress is addiction,” says Unnati Jhaveri, counsellor and nutritionist. Which is what RBP eventually becomes. But “the downside of it is sleep deprivation, which is such an integral part of being human just in terms of functionality. We need sleep for us to focus, to have interests, to avoid mood swings, depression, anxiety, all of it.”

Addiction implies a lack of self-control. However, in the case of RBP, it’s actually about exercising control. Snatching away precious hours of sleep to do something you enjoy is the only control you might have through an otherwise uncontrollable day. “You feel a little more powerful when you’re the one calling the shots,” says Jhaveri.

“Passive consumption of media is not healthy, both physically and mentally. It is mainly about the activities one chooses to engage in. A one-off delayed bedtime for other reasons versus a chronic delayed bedtime routine without any limits for doom scrolling is what makes it questionable. For most, it starts with setting an agenda for a few minutes, later exceeding to a few hours, which has its own negative effects,” says Brahmbhatt.

What is the issue with control?

There are, of course, many instances the night beckons—some of us have circadian rhythms that make us night owls; we are more focussed when the world is asleep. Then there are those who suffer from insomnia. But the key difference between RBP and something that is a medical disorder like insomnia is the small matter of choice. Insomniacs don’t choose to stay up all night. “It’s natural versus unnatural,” says Jhaveri. “Insomnia is natural. But in RBP, you’ve found something that is actively taking you away from sleep; a deliberate action. At some level, you’re not feeling okay, and you’re not addressing that.”

The problem with RBP is that it becomes addictive, and the cycle repeats endlessly. Lack of sleep leads to worse days, with double the anxiety and stress than normal, leading to more RBP. If you’re conscious of the cycle, there are ways to break out of it. Starting with the time you wake up—firstly, reduce your caffeine intake. “Stick to a consistent wake-up time,” advises Jhaveri. “In short, have good sleep habits. Reassess your to-do list—are you prioritising yourself? Or are you just on the go, on edge all the time, unable to understand your own needs?” If these steps sound daunting, consider seeing a therapist to help unravel the deeper issues that you might be keeping at bay.

There is no need to take revenge on your life. You realise how absurd that sounds, right? Sleep and rest are exactly what you need to tackle your day, and to feel better about it. Not their deprivation. So maybe, and the thought might be revolutionary here—it’s time to consider sleep as revenge. Screw you ‘meh’ day! I’m going to light a candle, put on some plinky-plonky music, keep my phone away and count sheep. The following eight hours of sleep will be an act of rebellion that is going to be bliss for the mind, body and soul.

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