Why Ma Anand Sheela remains unbothered of what people think of her

Born Sheela Ambalal Patel, the former right-hand woman of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh shares her thoughts on infidelity and marriage and why it is best to let go of feelings of jealousy

Most would agree that Ma Anand Sheela is a rather controversial figure—with some hailing her as a hero or spurning her as a criminal. Some view her as manipulative and power-hungry for mistreating the followers of Rajneesh’s movement—people inspired by the mystic Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh—leading to public condemnation and a damaged reputation, while others argue that she protected the movement from public hostility by taking the blame for any wrongdoing in Rajneesh’s organisation and hierarchy of followers. In spite of this, she remains a mysterious figure, fascinating to most people.

In a conversation with The Established, Sheela opens up about her life experiences, emotions and encounters, sharing the positive and negative sides of love, loss and jealousy, and divulging why these emotions are like a double-edged sword, either propelling individuals to accomplish extraordinary feats or leading them towards a negative path. Her intention? To create a guide for understanding emotional intelligence.

You’re an advocate of Osho’s theory of free sex. What would be your take on infidelity in marital relationships?

We must recognise that sexuality exists naturally while concerns around infidelity only need to arise when relationships fail to be adequately trusting and open. It is essential to comprehend the distinction between infidelity and sexuality. While adultery is man-made, sexuality is a natural occurrence. Infidelity has elements of sexuality, yet it does not denote love. 

 What advice would you like to give a victim of infidelity?  

It's easy to enter a negative mindset as emotions like bitterness and jealousy can be highly influential. Despite this, it's important to seek out positive thinking for personal growth. It's necessary to understand human nature to effectively manage these issues; prioritise love above all else, whilst consciously giving attention only where it is deserved. Furthermore, instead of wallowing in the pleasure one might get out of a feeling of jealousy, it is better to let go and move forward. At the end of the day, an understanding of human nature is one of the best tools we have at our disposal.

“She is on hard drugs, perhaps she is angry because I never made love to her” is what Osho once said about you. Was there ever a feeling of remorse, that despite being his confidant, there was immense love but no lovemaking between the two of you?  

Our love was not founded on physical intimacy. While we did not engage in any sexual activities, we were content with our relationship. We each had our romantic partners and there was no pressure or expectations between us. 

In your book Don’t Kill Him! The Story of my Life with Bhagwan Rajneesh, you mentioned that upon seeing your former husband Dipo’s girlfriend’s underpants on your beautiful leather chair, you experienced small fits of jealousy. Is it possible to avoid feeling jealous, in the context of the concept of free sex? 

During the early years of my relationship, I felt more upset that my husband Dipo’s girlfriend did not seem to appreciate the effort I had made to provide my terminally-ill husband with a comfortable chair. When I saw her underpants on it, I felt frustrated that she did not recognise the thought and care that had gone into getting it [the chair] for him. At the time, I had assumed that everyone else would have thoughts similar to mine. This was a small incident but it helped me overcome my jealousy issues. 

Being the queen of the commune, how did you exercise your business acumen despite being dictated by a man?  

I never considered myself to be an intellectual person. Being Gujarati, business runs in my blood, so figuring it out never felt like hard work. Bhagwan was excellent at marketing and a shrewd business intellectual. Whenever I encountered an issue I didn’t know how to deal with, I would reach out to him for help. If my thought process was unclear, I would bounce my ideas off to Bhagwan. He was not only a sounding board but also a very creative and forceful one. Together, we made a great team. 

Bhagwan believed in abundance and owned items from luxury brands. As the mediator of his possessions, how did it make you feel?  

Bhagwan wanted to make a point that material possessions were acceptable since we live in a materialistic society, and if we could manage to have them, we shouldn’t feel guilty about it. However, for me, my love was not diminished by the presence of material things. Whenever I presented him with something that he enjoyed, it would fill me with the same giddy excitement of a lover. 

He already had 96 brand new Roll Royce cars. Out of boredom, he asked you to get him 30 more within a month. How did you deal with such demands?

I made it clear to Bhagwan that the idea was not feasible. Financially, we were unable to manage it, and it could have disastrous consequences since our institute was a charitable one. We also had a business institute, but such money could have led to tax revisions. Although Bhagwan was unhappy, that was simply the reality of the situation. 

How did you develop a connection with your African-American cellmate Dorothy Brown who reportedly injured others with razor blades? What led to your early release on parole despite facing serious charges of terrorism, poisoning and conspiracy in the US and imprisonment in Germany?

I treated Dorothy Brown with the same level of respect as I would treat anyone else with whom I was sharing a room. I didn’t do anything extra for her. She was my roommate, and I respected her. We had bunk beds, and I would always ask for her permission or inform her before I climbed up to my bunk bed which was above hers. I would say, “Dorothy, may I climb up?” and she was pleasantly surprised that someone had spoken to her with such respect. She even started treating me like Jackie Kennedy, addressing me as “Mrs. Kennedy, comparing my grace, style and warmth to hers.”

Bhagwan blamed you for bigamy during your marriage with Dipo, and you had another lover Jay at the same time. How does the question of bigamy arise in the concept of free sex?

Bhagwan was upset with me because I left him, and he was also upset because I was the first person to ever deny him. Additionally, he was aware that practising bigamy could result in my arrest, which added to his anger towards me. I was practising Bhagwan’s teachings that there is no place for jealousy in a relationship, and so I was married to Dipo and living with Jay at the same time. 

Dipo, your Swiss husband, passed away while you were still serving in the US prison. How did you cope with his death?

Death is an ultimate reality that you have to learn to accept. It offers no choice. 

You fell in love with a man called Otmar while in prison in Germany. He was torn between his love for you and his feelings for his girlfriend and his son. How did you deal with this?

When I fell in love with Otmar while I was in prison, I was honest with him about my feelings but explained that I couldn’t act on them because of my situation. I didn’t want to confuse sympathy with love, which is a common occurrence in prison. I told him that if we truly love each other, we could be together once I was free. Otmar was torn between me and the woman he was living with at that time. However, we recently reunited, after 15 years, and the love we once had is still present. When we saw each other again, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other! Moments of love are such that they come and go; nothing is permanent. 

What's your suggestion for someone who's exploring their sexuality, be it in terms of monogamy, bigamy or polyamory?

Discover your desires and don’t hesitate to do what feels right for you. It’s important to stay tuned to yourself and not alter your preferences to seek validation from others, as doing so means compromising your integrity. Instead, be confident in being your authentic self.

Your retirement home is an alternative to European retirement homes. How does Bhagwan’s teaching help you in building emotions in your home?

Bhagwan’s teachings surround me, and I reside among my community just as they reside among me. We each have our rooms, but we are open to sharing each other’s rooms. Our lives revolve around this space, where we share meals, have coffee together, and make minor adjustments as needed, as the responsibility falls on me. This setup works extremely well because the home was created out of love for my parents. I didn’t want to send them somewhere where I had to keep complaining about what was not right. I needed to build a home where I felt satisfied. My residents and team are treated like family. I have two homes in Switzerland and one in Mauritius.

How many of Bhagwan’s teachings would you like to pass on to your granddaughter? Would you suggest to her the institution of marriage?

I absolutely would not suggest that. I advised my daughter not to get married, but I assured her that I would support her decision if she chose to do so. She wanted a wedding in Switzerland, close to my parent’s samadhi and with me by her side, so I organised it for her. Although she is now a single mother, she is doing very well. We are both independent-minded individuals, and I feel she should have followed my advice from the beginning and avoided the entire situation.

You used the term “tough titties” once and it has now become so synonymous with you. Do you feel at ease when referred to as such?

In Australia, there was a journalist who was very pushy and a total annoyance to me. Bhagwan had instructed me to stand up for myself when such people came around. The journalist kept saying several terrible things about Bhagwan, even going as far as to call him a pimp. I refused to take it lying down and I responded with the Australian phrase “tough titties”, which means “up yours!” I have no qualms about being referred to as such!  My life has been an open book and I’ve always been open to bearing it all. 

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