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Anannya Sarkar profile imageAnannya Sarkar

Her book is Kubbra Sait’s attempt at not just talking about her lived experiences but also to let go as she readies to reap the harvests of the year

Do younger Bollywood actors have enough to say in their memoirs? Kubbra Sait definitely does

Open Book: Not Quite A Memoir is Kubbra Sait’s attempt at not just talking about her lived experiences but also to let go as she readies to reap the harvests of a year spent doing hard work

“Have you healed?” Actor Kubbra Sait recalls how her mother called her up to ask her this question after reading her book, Open Book: Not Quite A Memoir, and that was part of why she wrote the memoir, which was released a couple of months ago. Sitting across a screen from her, Sait’s energy and sincerity is palpable: “I wasn’t trying to be the hero of the story nor was I trying to tell you how to feel about it. I was just telling you my story–what you take from it is your choice and yours alone.” The actor, who is lauded for the distinct trail she has carved out for herself not just in Bollywood but also internationally with Apple TV+’s Foundation, is excited about her releases lined up for 2023. But dearest to her heart has been the book she wrote during the pandemic, and has since, been an instrument of catharsis, introspection and rejuvenation–one that has prepared her for “Kubbra 2.0”. In a chat with The Established, Kubbra tells us more:

Having released a couple of months ago, Kubbra Sait's memoir has earned praise for its unique voice. Image courtesy: Twitter

Having released a couple of months ago, Kubbra Sait's memoir has earned praise for its unique voice. Image courtesy: Twitter

Does your book have anything to do with the title of Andre Agassi’s autobiography Open? Also, how much of an open book are you in real life?

Open was the first autobiography I really read and that was well before I was anywhere close to writing a book. What I loved about that book was that while there were words on the page, it was a very visual book. To read the book and see the words come alive was a very visual experience for me. I then went on to hear the audiobook, which was even better as it felt like I was sitting while watching those [tennis] matches. And then I get to this juncture in my life where I am like, ‘Oh, I am writing a book and I need to come up with a name for it.’ I must say that there definitely was an inspiration from Open itself. It is welcoming to have the word ‘open’. In fact, when people come to my home, there is a little poster that says something along the lines of, who is welcomed here will always feel loved here.

We feel that there is a lot of openness in how we present ourselves to the world through social media but we are very different as human beings. I have exactly the same candour, fervour and consciousness that I have in the book. The beauty is that I am done with everything that happened in my past and I am now creating a new future by living consciously in the present.

Sait, of her admission, took the opportunity of writing the book as a means to an end, the end being that of self-realisation and acceptance.

Sait, of her admission, took the opportunity of writing the book as a means to an end, the end being that of self-realisation and acceptance.

While Sait is not someone who journals, writing comes naturally to the Sacred Games actor. 

While Sait is not someone who journals, writing comes naturally to the Sacred Games actor. 

This book was written during the pandemic that has been an insightful time for many of us. Would you say that this book wouldn’t have happened had it not been for it?

That would be a fair assumption to make. The pandemic kind of forced us–and ‘forced’ being a harsh word to use–to isolate. But the entire world was going through this new phenomenon called ‘isolation’ and we were all gifted with this new emotion called ‘introspection’. This was new to all of us, as we were so busy catching up on life as it goes by every single day. I am sure we have all said to ourselves: “Oh, I am being really gracious to myself and will therefore take a holiday.” But it’s the number of times you stop, reboot and restart when you really figure out what’s happening to the cogs in the wheel. You don’t keep driving your car till it breaks down, right? You send it for servicing. And this was one of those experiences. Not only was I sitting at home, but the entire world was. It is really unfortunate that more people suffered than the rest of us. One of the privileges that I chose to utilise at this point was to understand what has led me to be the person I am today and how I could look back and reflect on what was needed to move forward. To move forward is about being in your state of consciousness. As an actor, I think it's important to have that consciousness as it also helps you when you are running overboard with your character or need to take the plunge.

"I THINK THE HARDEST PART FOR ME WAS TO BE CONSCIOUS OF NOT PUTTING ANYBODY ON A PEDESTAL OR UNDER THE BUS. I WASN’T TRYING TO BE THE HERO OF THE STORY NOR WAS I TRYING TO TELL YOU HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT. I WAS JUST TELLING YOU MY STORY, AND WHAT YOU TAKE FROM IT IS YOUR CHOICE AND YOURS ALONE"

Kubra Sait

What was your writing process like? Are you someone who writes journals or who took to writing naturally?

I have always found relief in writing but it’s never been in the journal format. I do maintain a gratitude journal and have a gratitude jar to fill up with notes for a rainy day. The process of writing came to me naturally. I wasn’t putting any pressure of being an author on myself, as writing this book was like writing a journal of my entire life in a span of six months. I think the hardest part for me was to be conscious of not putting anybody on a pedestal or under the bus. I wasn’t trying to be the hero of the story nor was I trying to tell you how to feel about it. I was just telling you my story, and what you take from it is your choice and yours alone. I am someone who writes with a sense of humour and that made it easy for me.

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"It was a genuine effort to put myself out there. What I would really like is for people to relate to the truth in it," said Sait. 

The book has been out for a couple of months now. What’s the most interesting response you have received so far?

I get messages on Instagram all the time, along with texts from my school friends, teachers, my mentor and from strangers too. The person I buy coffee from happened to purchase the book and she is a fellow Bangalorean. She picked this one fragment and sent me a text, saying, “Thank you so much for telling me how I could be a good, supportive parent because now I can apply this while raising my child.” I don’t have my own children but I have been a child and if that kind of support came to me, I don’t know how different I would be. But I just felt like it was a very empowering place to come from, for a parent.

It’s been an interesting time with many biographies and autobiographies coming out recently. However, you have been an outsider to this world of Bollywood and now that you are writing from within it, do you think you have been able to bridge the gap between yourself and the reader?

The endeavour is to bridge that gap. I think there’s enough discussion about nepotism and I didn’t want the conversation around my book to be scandalous or something that would raise eyebrows. It was a genuine effort to put myself out there. What I would really like is for people to relate to the truth in it. The book is raw, candid, fearless and truthful and I had all of that inside of me. I wasn’t judging any bit of my story and nor was I giving that power to anybody else as well.

Having written about your life so far, what’s next for you?

I don’t know about that yet and therein lies the beauty. It took me 39 years to write this book, to live a life and construct it with thoughts and ideas and people. I do know that another book will happen, I just don’t know when. Maybe it will be Open Book, part two–keeping it simple! Kubbra is at 2.0 right now so why not?

As for work, some really cool things have shaped up. I was working on Foundation through the pandemic so I hadn’t worked in the country in about a year-and-a-half. It’s only now that I have started working in India and I have about three projects under my belt and we will probably see the releases in the following year. So it’s been a good year of hard work, sowing the right seeds with the right intentions and 2023 is the year to harvest it.

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