Is Instagram beating out Tinder and Bumble at their own game?

The seamless nature of the social media platform might just be encouraging a new generation to ditch dating apps

Instagram dating is a thing now. Yes, you read that right: The social media platform known for encouraging sunny posts of people on holiday or grabbing eyeballs through incessant Reels is increasingly used by Gen Z and millennials to meet new people, often intentionally. 

In fact, social media has become an extension of online dating. It frequently serves as the next place people connect after matching on a dating app. For many, like Arshita, who requested to be quoted anonymously, it’s a handy way to double-check if the person she matches with is, in fact, who they say they are. 

“If someone doesn’t want to connect on Instagram, it raises the alarm for me,” says the Mumbai-based content specialist. “I understand if they want to keep their Instagram account private, but if they refuse to connect on the app, I assume they’re hiding something.”

A matter of preference

Instagram can be ideal for pre-date sleuthing, so is it a surprise that people also use them to connect directly? “I don’t necessarily enjoy swiping on apps. After a while, it becomes a chore. I am okay with men sliding into my DMs as long as they are decent and can maintain boundaries. I have come across my fair share of creeps, but about 80 per cent of the guys I’ve interacted with on Instagram are decent. I’ve even been on three dates in 2023 alone,” she says. 

Like Arshita, many young daters find Instagram more user-friendly than an app explicitly meant for dating. One of the arguments hinges on dating apps only serving up profiles of people who are largely within one’s geographic radius, whereas Instagram allows communication with a broader range of people. Moreover, while some apps only allow an exchange of messages to start when two people have matched, on Instagram, you’re welcome to send a message to anyone, as intrusive as it can sometimes be. Then there’s ‘dating app fatigue’, a term to describe the idea that having more choices, while it may seem good, actually isn’t so. In the face of too many options, most people freeze up and become jaded. 

Pune-based Karthik, an IT professional, enjoys oscillating between dating apps and Instagram as it offers him more variety regarding the men he’s exposed to. While dating apps like Grindr, or even Tinder, at times offer him quick conversations and even quicker sex dates, he finds the process of getting to know someone on Instagram a tad slower. “I use dating apps to meet new men and hook up with guys I find attractive. Given that apps are expressly meant for some romantic or sexual interaction, it’s easy to find what you’re looking for because you know most men there are looking for either of the two, too. On the other hand, Instagram has allowed me to meet men I’d like to date or get to know platonically. The authenticity factor kicks in because you can check if you have mutual friends. It also provides great insights into someone’s personality,” he says, adding: “Instead of looking at a dating profile with a cliched bio and some predictable headshots, you can use Instagram to see where someone went on vacation, what their dog looks like, and what kind of food they like to cook.”

If Karthik gels with a man on an app, he makes it a point to migrate to Instagram almost immediately if they desire to. Or, if he’s into a guy on Instagram, he has a process to vet if the other person is keen to take things forward too. “Once we start following each other, or if I follow a guy, I like the first three pictures on the grid and wait to see if they reciprocate. If they don’t, I usually start liking or reacting to their Stories to see if they are keen to initiate a conversation. If they do, I go all in. If we meet for coffee or sex and things don’t go as planned, I continue to follow them but mute them. Or if I’m blunt and tell them that things aren’t going to go ahead, they block or unfollow me,” he says.

Are dating apps becoming unpopular?

Despite the popularity of Instagram dating in recent years, dating apps are still relevant, feels Samarpita Samaddar, India communications director of Bumble. “If the last two years have taught us anything, it’s that people are more mindful of what they are looking for in a partner and more intentional about dating at their own time, terms and pace. There has been a positive shift in how people view online dating following lockdowns and social distancing measures. In our study conducted in 2021, 72 per cent of single Indians surveyed think it is possible to fall in love with someone online they have never met in person. And 45 per cent of single Indians surveyed believe online dating is the standard rite of passage in India,” she says.

The growing spending has debunked opinions about dating apps and their waning popularity in this category, which saw the highest-ever growth in 2022, according to data from App Annie. Based on the data from Android and Apple IOs platforms, Indian consumers spent US$ 9.9 million up to December 2022 on dating and friendship apps, more than double the same period last year (US$ 4.5 million). While globally, Tinder is the most popular app in this category in terms of consumer spend, in India it is Chamet, a video call service that connects you to people in over 150 countries. Second in terms of consumer spend is Bumble, which actress Priyanka Chopra Jonas backed, and third in the pecking order is Tinder, according to the data from App Annie. 

Tinder and Bumble are slowly making inroads into tier-2 cities and smaller towns too. While the dating app penetration in India was only 2.23 per cent, according to Statista, at the end of 2020, the number doesn’t indicate the reality: Apps are still being used for scouting potential partners. “Reverse migration during the lockdown meant people from the metros, who originally hailed from smaller cities and towns, took back the culture of dating app interactions to their respective home towns. In fact, Bumble is expected to run extensive campaigns in Ahmedabad and Chandigarh this year, given the overwhelming response in dating app usage,” says Samaddar. 

Uncharted territory

A Mumbai-based actor, who requested anonymity, believes looking for love or intimacy in a world where face-to-face meetings are no longer commonplace is hard, especially if you’re a public figure. Despite being on the dating app Raya, an invite-only platform as exclusive as you would expect, with only a small number of elite applicants accepted, he prefers using Instagram to talk to women. “I didn’t know Instagram dating existed until I learnt my ex-girlfriend was talking and meeting guys through Insta DMs. I’ve always been old-school that way; I prefer approaching a woman at a party or gathering, but it can sometimes be intimidating. So I’ve been using Instagram to chat up women respectfully, and while I have gone on dates, most women I write to don’t respond because they feel I’m looking for a fling, given the reputation actors have built for themselves over the years. It’s been a learning process, though,” he says.